#unfortunately not practical on the business side of things
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sun-e-chips · 1 month ago
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#14 Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
Waterspark Moon: “I always thought it would be really fun for Sun and I and all the tiki’s to take a trip somewhere. Somewhere outside of the park all of us, maybe even to another theme park, I don’t know somewhere with a lot of space where we can all be together no work all play. We haven’t tried to pull something like this off because it would be a grand feat with lots of planning: closing the park, hiring a temp security team, transportation, finding somewhere with enough free rooms to book. It’s doable we would just have to be serious enough to plan it at least a year in advance.”
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orcelito · 2 months ago
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Worst thing about having taken business classes is that I see people complain about bullshit companies are pulling and a part of my brain goes "Oh, that's an effective tactic for cost reduction" or something around those lines. And then the part of my brain that is Not a wannabe businessman is just like "Bro."
#speculation nation#or anything on data management or anything like that. bfkshfmsbd#been learning about company perspectives and what have you. unfortunately i understand businesses more than i ever planned to.#such is the IT major at my school </3 i did already finish my business classes already#but im in data governance class now which deals a lot with the ways companies handle their data.#learning about policies and harm reduction tactics and data lifecycles and what have you#looking at the scaffolding of a company's data system and recognizing just how fragile it all is.#a side effect of all this is me feeling less angry about websites trying to make money.#advertisements and subscription services are aggravating. but hosting a website is *expensive*.#if they cant at least break even then the website is a resource drain and isnt sustainable in the long run.#not unless it's a damned passion project of a bigger conglomerate. and you'll find those are exceedingly rare.#so im annoyed by advertisements as much as the next person. but if theyre kept relatively unobtrusive then i dont mind them too much.#now ads that pop up to cover the whole screen. or god forbid youtube's unskippable 30+ second ads#THOSE are so obnoxious. the youtube ads especially.#had a few of those some weeks back when prepping my presentation that had me wanting to tear my hair out.#30+ seconds and NO SOUND EITHER. literally ridiculous.#anyways im definitely not a business sympathizer Especially when it comes to predatory practices#but for those more daily functions kinds of things... idk man sometimes these things just gotta happen.
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dancingbirdie · 1 year ago
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Okay so on Astarion, I was reading this fic about him not knowing Tavs true intentions with him and it bothering Astarion a lot, so what if he goes to some mage or magic user and asks them to show Tavs true intentions to him, when he does the vision he sees is just... being snuggled. It's Tav on top of him and the both of you are falling asleep, his hands are under your shirt softly petting your skin as your sleepy self is contently snuggled up to him. I just start crying about him finding out that Tavs DASTARDLY and EVIL plan with him, their greatest desire from him... is to simply be held. 🥺
Hi @goblin-creatcher! Thank you so much for this BEAUTIFUL prompt. I, uhh, kind of took it and went a million miles an hour with it. This is honestly one of my favorite things I've ever written. I hope you enjoy it as well! xoxoxo
Something Imagined / Something Real
Word Count: 3.9K
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Astarion x f!Tav
Warnings/Tags: Brief but detailed description of rough consensual sex, descriptions and references to Astarion's trauma/trauma responses, minor Act 1 and Act 2 spoilers, FLUFF, angst
Suggested Song Pairing: Slow Dancing in A Burning Room (Stripped) - cover by ST LUNA
Summary: Astarion has been suspicious of Tav’s true intentions toward him. He persuades Gale to cast a spell and reveal her motivations. ANGST and FLUFF ensue. A rewriting of Astarion’s confession scene from Act 2.
The sun had just begun to set on the campsite when Astarion decided to put his plan into action. He had waited until Tav departed with some of the other party members before making his way over to the wizard. Gale was too busy reassembling the bookshelf inside his tent to notice Astarion’s approach. It wasn’t until he gave a polite cough that Gale jumped and whirled to face him. 
“No, no, no,” he began all at once, hands raised in a sort of shooing motion. Astarion stared at him in confusion. “I can respect Tav’s indulging in your need for blood, but as I’ve said before: I taste terrible.” 
Astarion scoffed. “Charming. Actually, wizard, I was coming to request your aid in a different, though somewhat related, matter.”
“Really? Care to elaborate?” Gale responded, still somewhat wary. It wasn’t often he found himself alone with the vampire. 
“Testy, I see,” Astarion crooned teasingly. His knee-jerk response to people treating him like a monster, to behave in the most false saccharine sort of way. 
But he drew up short, censoring himself before saying anything else he might regret. He knew he needed to get on the wizard’s good side if he had any chance of getting the answers he sought. 
“I was hoping you knew a spell to reveal someone’s true intentions. Their… motivations for behaving in a certain way, so to speak,” he finished more seriously. 
Gale pondered the question for a moment before answering. 
“Hmm… yes, there is magic to determine that sort of thing… Although it’s been some time since I practiced it…” He trailed off, rubbing his chin in thought. 
“Why are you asking for such a thing?” he asked suddenly. 
Astarion had been prepared for this question, of course. No one did anything for free, no questions asked. He delivered his explanation perfectly, as he’d been rehearsing in his mind.
“One might say our dear sweet Tav and I have been growing a bit… closer these days, but I can sense a master manipulator when I see one. I just simply want to ensure their intentions toward me - toward the party - are true,” he replied with mock innocence. 
“Ah, yes,” Gale nodded. “I gathered as much when the two of you slipped away from the tiefling’s party a few nights ago.” 
“But,” he continued on,”I needn’t think you should worry when it comes to Tav. She seems about as transparent as they come. I’m sure any intentions she has toward you are true.”
Yes, but the best actors always mask their motivations behind innocence and transparency, Astarion thought to himself. I should know. I’ve been doing it for centuries.
After the party’s unfortunate meeting with that Gur in the Sunlit Wetlands, Astarion realized he would have to take potential threats from Cazador even more seriously. He wasn’t about to lose his freedom, not now that he finally had some small taste of it. 
It didn’t hurt to be more suspicious of everyone he encountered, even the sweetling Tav. Anyone could be an operative sent by Cazador, and the best ones would be as skilled as he was in the art of manipulation. It was well-known at this point that the person he’d grown the closest to on their journey was their brave party leader, Tav. Unlikely as it may be that she was scheming for his master, Astarion’s paranoia wouldn’t let him indulge in interactions with her a second longer unless he knew how she truly felt. 
Given Gale’s hesitation, Astarion knew he would have to kick his acting up a notch. Press on that wizard’s heartstrings. Touch the one nerve he knew he was sensitive to.
“Gale, darling, from one literally damaged soul to another, indulge me just this once,” Astarion beseeched him. 
The wizard glared at him a moment, before finally relenting with a heavy sigh. “Fine. Fine. But I want it known that I don’t agree with this so-called solution one whit,” he grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. 
“Yes, yes, noted and formally documented, on my word as a former Baldurian magistrate,” Astarion replied cheerily. “So, let’s hop to it then, shall we?”
“What, right now?” Gale asked, shocked. “Shouldn’t we be, I don’t know, a little less conspicuous?” 
“What better time than now?” Astarion responded. “Tav’s out gathering firewood with Wyll and Karlach. They won’t be back for some time. As for Lae’zel and Shadowheart, well…” he paused, gesturing over his shoulder. 
Said two were engaged in a heated sparring session on the outskirts of the camp. Snarls and curses could be heard emanating from both warriors as they tried, and failed, to gain the upper hand against their opponent.
“That lovers’ dance could go on until morning,” Astarion finished. 
“Fair point,” Gale admitted begrudgingly, grimacing at the sound of swords clashing violently. “Very well. Let’s get started.” 
Clearing his throat, Gale began to utter a series of phrases completely foreign to Astarion. He watched as the wizard began moving his hands in a wavelike pattern, forming a circle before them. Suddenly, a mist began to form from seemingly thin air, taking shape according to the boundaries Gale’s hands were creating. The mist grew more and more opaque until it appeared before them like a clouded mirror. 
As the fogginess of the ethereal magic began to clear, the “mirror” became a confusing blur of scenes whipping by, too fast for Astarion or Gale to really comprehend. There were flashes of Tav and Astarion, together and separate, but they disappeared too quickly to ascertain their context. It was as though the spell was shuffling through the entirety of Tav’s thoughts, assessing each one at breakneck speed. 
Finally, the spell slowed to a halt, stopping on one scene in particular. Astarion was struck speechless by what began playing out in the foggy portal before them. So distracted, he didn’t even notice Gale’s tight cough, or how the wizard suddenly became intensely interested in a copse of trees nearby, rather than the revelation the spell was revealing.
Not that the scene was especially profound, objectively speaking. In fact, to anyone else, it might be viewed as the least revelatory thing possible that the spell could have shown. Boring. Inconsequential, even. But to Astarion, it was almost earth shattering. 
He saw himself - he could see his face! - with Tav, lying tangled together in some immaculate four-poster bed. 
That was the first shock that coursed through him, nearly causing his knees to buckle. He was seeing himself for the first time in over 200 years. Or at least, he was seeing himself as Tav saw him. And… the person he saw… Well, he was gorgeous. White blonde locks, curled and tousled in a devil-may-care sort of way. A strong, patrician nose that suggested good breeding. High, sharp cheekbones. Full lips, upturned in a thoughtless grin. Red eyes bordered by long, sweeping lashes. Delicately pointed elven ears. Smooth alabaster skin, without blemish or spot. 
Astarion could scarcely believe his own eyes. 
The second shock to his system was the nature of their activities. He would have been less surprised had the vision shown them fucking. Him taking her roughly from behind perhaps. His name a cry of ecstasy from her lips as he pistoned in and out of her with a feral sort of determination. 
Fantasies of lust, of total domination, now those were things he was familiar with inspiring in the minds of the victims he had taken as lovers. It was what he strove for, in all honesty. Desire like that all but ensured he would capture his prey and live to serve another day for his master. 
But nothing of the sort was occurring between vision-Tav and himself. Instead, they were just… embracing? What in sweet hells was this?
She lay halfway on top of him. Her hair was mussed, perhaps from sleep or perhaps from previous lovemaking. One hand was drawing absentminded shapes across his chest, her lips trailing behind, leaving kisses in their wake. He watched as vision-Astarion chuckled softly, as his hands slipped beneath her sleepshirt to caress her waist, as he placed an innocent kiss on the top of Tav’s head. Eventually, she reached for his hand. They both watched their fingers intertwine, blissfully content.
It was the purest, unadulterated expression of affection that Astarion had ever seen. Something in his heart quaked at the sight of it. He wanted that moment. He envied, he hated, vision-Astarion for enjoying such apparent happiness.
So absorbed in the vision and its implications, Astarion failed to notice the soft padding of feet that indicated someone’s re-entry into the camp. 
“If the two of you are quite finished poking around in my head,” an angry voice suddenly spat from behind them, “I’d appreciate you preserving what little privacy I have left and shutting that damn spell off.”
Mortified, Astarion and Gale turned to see Tav, arms crossed and visibly seething with rage. Gale quickly dispelled the magic with a flick of his wrist. A blush was slowly but surely rising up Tav’s neck to reach her cheeks. Whether from rage or embarrassment, Astarion couldn’t be certain. 
“Tav, let us explain-” Astarion started.
“It was his idea-” Gale blurted at the same time, pointing at Astarion. 
Both paused, glaring at one another. But Tav would have none of their feeble attempts at backpedaling. 
“The explanation doesn’t matter. Whose idea it was doesn’t matter. The fact is that both of you violated the privacy of my mind, which I’ll remind you, has ALREADY been violated by having a bloody tadpole forced inside of it!” Tav shouted. At their words, the camp became enveloped in a heavy silence. Even the crickets ceased their chirping.
Astarion cringed inwardly, knowing the other party members could plainly hear this altercation and had likely stopped whatever it was that they had been doing to listen in. He noted the sounds of swords clanging together had ceased. He was certain Lae’zel and Shadowheart at least were aware of what was happening. Nosy bastards, all of them.
But what disturbed him even more was the realization that Tav’s eyes were welling with tears. She was too proud to acknowledge them or wipe them away. Such was her nature. But they were there nonetheless, and the knowledge that Astarion had brought her to the point of tears was enough to spur a rush of utter self-loathing inside him.
Without another word, Tav turned on her heel and marched stiffly out of camp, toward the direction of a nearby creek they’d identified as a water source earlier in the day.
“I can’t believe I let you convince me to perform that spell,” Gale said as she disappeared between the trees. He dragged his hands down his face. 
“How could we have been so doltish, forgetting that all of our privacies have already been violated with this tadpole business?”
Astarion didn’t have an answer to that. At least, not one the wizard could possibly understand. 
The thought hadn’t occurred to Astarion, he realized, because violations of privacy had been something so intrinsic to his being for over 200 years. He didn’t even recognize it as something abnormal. Like a fish unaware that the water surrounding it is, in fact, water. 
Violations of privacy were a part of life, at least for him. So much so that his request for Gale to perform that magic hadn’t even occurred to him as an overstepping of boundaries. To Astarion, it had simply been a matter of survival. He had needed to know another potentially manipulative person’s true intentions, and so he had found a means to uncover it and maintain the upper hand. 
Belatedly, he also realized that Gale’s hesitation to cast the spell had had nothing to do with being inconvenienced for the evening, but because the wizard had known that it was improper to do to another person. If he had misread that, Astarion wondered, then what other truly benevolent behaviors had he mistaken as pragmatic manipulation?
“I need to go find her,” Astarion murmured, clenching and unclenching his fists in an uncharacteristic fit of uncertainty. 
“Yes, you do,” Gale asserted. “We both owe her a sincere apology… if she’ll even accept it.”
“I’ll see if I can convince her to come back to camp,” Astarion replied, making to leave in the direction Tav had stormed off. 
“Wait,” Gale said, a hand on his shoulder. Astarion turned to meet his gaze. 
“Look, well, I’m obviously not an expert in healthy demonstrations of affection. But I do think it’s obvious from what you saw in that spell that Tav well and truly cares about you. In perhaps the purest way possible. Treat that carefully.”
Part of Astarion wanted to laugh aloud in utter hopelessness at the wizard’s advice. Someone cared for him? Truly and purely? No hidden games, no strings attached? Oh certainly, that wouldn’t be a problem for Astarion at all. Obviously, his 200-year existence as a master-manipulator-fetch-hound for a power-hungry vampire lord had perfectly prepared him to respond to this situation in a healthy manner. Obviously.
But all that was too much to reveal to someone he barely knew and too heavy to say aloud. Rather than giving some smarmy retort, Astarion opted instead to give a stiff nod and continue walking toward the edge of camp. He had no idea how he could make things right with Tav, but at the very least he could try. 
***
He found Tav sitting on a fallen tree near the edge of the creek bed. Her legs were drawn up to her chest, arms wrapped around them as she rested a cheek to her knees. In the waning twilight, she reminded Astarion of some misbegotten gargoyle perched on the roof of a temple, solitary and so very sad. 
Her ears twitched as she noted his arrival. Astarion wasn’t trying to be stealthy. On top of everything else, the last thing he needed to do was scare her. 
“Can I join you?” he asked softly, wincing to himself at the awkwardness of the question. 
The reality was that there was no way to broach this conversation without some stilted beginning, and he hated it. Navigating tricky conversations was normally something he excelled at. But as he was quickly finding, when it related to Tav, nothing in his past life had prepared him to respond to her well. 
“If you’d like,” Tav answered tonelessly. 
Knowing it was probably the best response he was going to get, Astarion swallowed thickly and moved to sit down on the log next to her. 
“I… wanted to… apologize for what you saw, back at camp,” he began.
“Apologize for doing it, or apologize for getting caught?” Tav asked as she turned her head to look at him, resting her other cheek on her knees. 
Astarion balked at the question. Her piercing gaze unnerved him. He hadn’t really thought that far. 
“Both, I suppose?” he answered honestly, although it sounded more like a question to Tav. She huffed a laugh.
“You know, part of me really wants to yell at you. Scream in your face. Tell you off proper,” she mused.
“So why don’t you?” Astarion asked, perplexed. 
Tav didn’t respond at first, just sat there studying him. As if by staring at him long enough, she could project the answer into his mind. 
Astarion didn’t interrupt her, much as he would have liked to. Part of him always bristled when people gazed at him for too long. It was unfair that they could study him, when he hadn’t been able to so much as glance at his reflection in over 200 years. 
Finally, Tav released a heavy sigh, her body curling further in on itself. She closed her eyes as she spoke.
“Because then I would be just like every other bastard in your life who’s mistreated you.”
Astarion flinched in surprise. Those had not been the sort of words he’d been expecting. The truth of them cut deeper than had she raged at him like she wanted to. It left him feeling even more vulnerable, and that in turn made him want to retreat into the comfort of viciousness.
“I don’t need you to pull any punches,” he scoffed, glaring at her. “Go ahead and say what you will.”
She straightened up at his tone, opening her eyes and returning his glare. 
“No. I don’t want to,” she said testily.
“I don’t need your pity,” he hissed. “It’s insulting.”
“Gods damn it all, Astarion!” Tav exclaimed suddenly, causing him to jump in surprise. She threw her hands up in defeat. “I’m not doing anything out of pity! I don’t want to rage at you, because I know that whatever I say right now, I won’t mean it come the morning!”
Astarion blinked. Once again he was left feeling flat footed by the turn of the conversation. Sensing his surprise, Tav continued on with her deluge of words.
“You hurt me tonight, and I’m angry at you - and at Gale, for that matter - for what you did. But you’ve shared enough of your… history… with me, that I realize your behavior is just… just a byproduct of centuries of abuse and manipulation you’ve endured! And I won’t be another abuser in your life. I won’t,” she asserted. 
Astarion continued staring at her, as if she were some otherworldly creature that had just wandered across his path. He watched as Tav inhaled a deep breath, releasing it shakily. She turned away from him to peer out into the forest, uncertain. She opened and closed her mouth several times before actually speaking. As if whatever she was about to say was more intimidating to her than anything else she’d said tonight. 
“I… care deeply for you, Astarion,” she said quietly. “You obviously saw that in the vision. I’m not playing any games. There’s no hidden motive. I’m not trying to manipulate you.”
She turned to look at him again before continuing, her breathing a bit unsteady. 
“I didn’t sleep with you that night of the tiefling party as some sort of maneuver to gain your trust. Although I understand if that was your motivation for doing so.” 
Astarion’s expression morphed into one of guilt. But Tav nodded soberly, as if she had already expected it, before continuing on. 
“It’s okay. I’m not angry. But I’m putting all my cards on the table now, so to speak. Actually, your decision tonight forced my hand, but I had been planning on telling you soon anyway. So, there you have it. The truth of my intentions. What you do with that information is up to you.”
She turned back to gaze out at their surroundings. Like she was giving him the opportunity to bolt away without her watching him. As if she expected him to flee from her confession. 
But Astarion didn’t flee. He remained seated, staring at her in complete wonderment. 
“Why?” he asked quietly.
She looked back at him again, confusion evident on her face. 
“Why what?”
“Why do you care for me? You’re so… well-adjusted. And I’m well… this,” he finished lamely, placing a hand on his chest. 
Tav pursed her lips. “It would be a mistake to misconstrue my empathy for you as me being well-adjusted. Everyone has their own demons, Astarion,” she murmured. “Mine just look different from yours.”
Astarion mulled her words over in his mind, considering them. He leaned forward to brace his forearms on his knees, his head drooping slightly. 
“I…,” he started, unsure. “That vision… what it implied… You deserve something real, Tav. You’re incredible… truly.” 
Tav closed her eyes, bracing for the fallout. Even though she would accept his decision, whatever it was, she didn’t think she could bear to watch him deny her. It would hurt too much. 
“Look. When we met, I had a plan. A nice, simple plan,” he blurted all at once. Rising swiftly to his feet, Tav watched as he began to pace before her, near to bursting with frenetic energy. 
“Seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you’d never turn on me,” he counted off, laughing half-heartedly. “It was… easy - instinctive. Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in. All you had to do was fall for it. And all I had to do… was not fall for you… which is where my nice, simple plan fell apart,” he finished, stopping to stand before her. 
She held his gaze, speechless. 
“I want you,” he whispered fervently. “I want what was in that vision… I want us to be something real.”
Never in a million years had she thought he would respond to her like this. She opened her mouth to speak, but Astarion cut her off with another sudden exclamation. 
“I just don’t know what real is,” he confessed, his tone a touch hysterical. Tav knew from his body language that being this transparent was completely out of Astarion’s comfort zone. 
“Being… close to someone - any kind of intimacy - was something I performed to lure people back. For him. Even though I know things between us are different, being with someone still feels… tainted. Still brings up those feelings of disgust, and loathing. I… I don’t know how else to be with someone. No matter how much I’d like to,” he finished, staring at her with beseeching eyes, willing her to understand.
Tav rose to her feet, coming to stand before him. 
“I don’t want you for your body,” she whispered. “Or to perform any acts of intimacy. We can be together, without sleeping together, for as long as you need.”
“Really,” he asked softly, his voice pitched low, rough with emotion.
“Really,” Tav asserted, giving him a small smile. “Would it be all right if…” she paused, conflicted. He eyed her curiously.
“Could I hug you?” she whispered.
The fact that she asked before doing so caused a well of emotion to spring up inside him. Eyes watering, Astarion nodded. 
Slowly, Tav moved forward to wrap her arms around his waist. Her head nestled into the crook of his neck and shoulder. A perfect fit. He felt her exhale a deep sigh.
Tav hugging him was a sensation unlike any he had ever felt. At least, any he could remember feeling. The act of being touched, embraced, without any desire for something more. She just wanted to hold him, feel him close to her. It was incomprehensible to him, but utterly enjoyable, at the same time. 
Slowly, ever so slowly, Astarion raised his arms to return Tav’s embrace. Drawing her even closer, he bowed his head to rest his cheek against her hair. It was soft, like the finest silk. He closed his eyes as he inhaled deeply, appreciating her sweet, floral scent.   
She made to pull away after a moment, not wishing to overwhelm him. But Astarion gripped her more firmly, a silent urge for them to stay that way a little longer. 
“This… this is nice,” he whispered. 
He both felt and heard Tav hum contentedly in response. 
It wasn’t identical to the vision from Tav’s mind that he had seen, but Astarion reveled in their embrace nonetheless. It felt like the beginning of something new. And for the first time in his very, very long life, Astarion felt excited at the prospects of what would come next. 
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actual-changeling · 1 year ago
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welcome back to alex's unhinged meta corner, today's topic: the chest touch at the pub. that scene has me in a chokehold for some reason and i still cannot stop thinking about it.
the first thing i wanna talk about is crowley's reaction, since this is the shorter part. he did not expect aziraphale to reach out to him like this and freezes for a second while aziraphale happily chatters away.
they were both walking and the hand on his chest stops him, so he comes to a stop right next to him while he was slightly behind him before that. his gaze also snaps to aziraphale's face, who is very much not looking at him.
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they were having a conversation, but the touch essentially shuts crowley up and zira leaves him to get their drinks.
now, my question is why aziraphale does it. sure, it could just be an absent gesture since they're in a crowded place, just that he has never really done so before. i think it was very much planned, like asking crowley to dance and grabbing his hand later on.
a second before he actually reaches out, he also looks back to check whether crowley is where he thinks he is. that is the only time he does that, he was busy looking for a free table and miracles them one when he cannot find one - the look back is deliberate. especially since crowley is practically glued to his side, he has no need for confirmation, he can feel him brushing against him while walking.
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the hand motion he does gets me, too. he is busy fidgeting with his hands like normal and has them clasped in front of him. aziraphale lifts them once he gets to "that is precisely the point", yet also already moves it slightly towards crowley, realizes he miscalculated where exactly he/his chest is, looks to check, then looks away again before actually touching him. am i reading too much into it? maybe.
i think it is his version of a little temptation. not only does it make crowley's brain short-circuit for a second, he also gets them their drinks and is now (or so aziraphale hopes) a bit calmer and will take the news aziraphale is about to give him better. the conversation at the cafe did not go entirely as planned, after all.
additionally, something i am not sure if other people have noticed or not is that aziraphale does not just touch crowley, it is a caress. he moves his hand down his chest.
the movement in order:
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bar girl unfortunately moves in front of them, but you can clearly see the way his hand takes. to give you a direct comparison of the starting and end point:
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a good point of reference is crowley's bolo tie but also the angle of aziraphale's arm while it is still visible.
the best part, in my opinion, is that aziraphale puts his hand right on top of crowley's heart. i think the symbolic importance of that is pretty clear and does not require any more explanation, although it makes me want to throw myself into a river. but that's by the by.
to summarize, aziraphale caresses crowley's heart chest to get him to calm down and not go insane over the news he is about to give him. he is also simply a bastard and knows exactly what he is doing to crowley.
as always, this is me going nuts with analysis, but i'm also curious to hear other people's thoughts on this.
don't tell my therapist about my unhinged meta posts or she will probably be very concerned for my mental wellbeing
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hannieehaee · 3 months ago
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18+ / mdi
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content: loser!jungkook, sub!jungkook, softdom!reader, oral (m receiving), etc.
part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, extra
wc: 1632
a/n: i havent read the previous three parts in months so if theres any discrepancies pls forgive</3
masterlist
in the time you'd known jungkook, you'd never actually been to his apartment.
he was at university on a scholarship, meaning that he didn't have to worry about paying for schooling or dorming. any money he earned from tutoring or any allowance received by his parents was all his to keep, meaning that his current residence was nicer than that of the average student.
despite being aware of all of this, you were still quite shocked the first time he brought you around.
unlike what you'd expected, jungkook's spacious studio apartment was not filled with nerdy figurines and stacks of comic books (god, that would've been adorable). instead, it replicated the appearance of the average bachelor pad. the furniture appeared of good quality, the bed was comfy, the decor clean, and even the cleanliness gave you a vibe of maturity and put-togetherness that you hadn't quite gotten from jungkook yet. at least not to this extent.
the most shocking thing, though? that was jungkook himself; his look and demeanor while lounging around his apartment.
he'd been growing his hair recently, something which you adored, though tonight had been the first time you'd ever seen him with it without the proper care you assumed went to it every morning. the messy curls laid at the sides, fluffy after a whole day of being worn and played with by the wind. accompanied by that, he donned some loose sweats and a simple tank top, two garments you'd never once seen on the boy. he tended to go for less casual outfits while in public, usually wearing buttoned up flannels or graphic tees.
unfortunately for you, his slight change in look had an instant effect on you. had anyone else seen him like this, you were sure they'd pursue him immediately. as of late, more and more girls were taking notice of him. since meeting you, his confidence had gone up and his way of presenting himself had evolved quite a bit. just a few more months and you were sure he'd become a heartthrob by all definition of the word.
"god, you're gorgeous," you practically whimpered as soon as he let you in, having taken a few moments to simply stare at him before pecking his lips as a greeting.
"oh, i- thanks. you're prettier," he mumbled back as he welcomed you in, "sorry it's a little messy."
he must've been kidding. the place was insanely tidy! you expected as much from jungkook, but it was still surprising to find a college-aged boy with cleanliness.
"it's perfect, baby. show me to your room?", you went straight into business.
with a sheepish smile, he led you to his room.
you had previously agreed that you'd be spending the night tonight. it was your first sleepover at his place, which had you both giddy at the thought. there was no special reason for it other than your sudden insistence for it about a week ago, claiming you wanted to see where a one jeon jungkook spent his nights away from you.
he was shy about it at first, as per usual, but agreed after a few smiles and kisses from you.
and so now you had the privilege of laying on his bed on a saturday night, clad in a pair of his boxers and an oversized shirt of his as you waited for him to do his skincare.
you had insisted on not packing an overnight bag, knowing jungkook would have anything you needed at his place — he was very well put together, after all.
smiling at him as soon as he entered the room, you extended your arms to motion him over to the bed, causing him to chuckle shyly as he stepped towards you. once he was at a close enough distance, you grabbed at his arms, pulling him to the bed and somehow managing to get him to lay down, climbing on him immediately after.
"hey, there, gorgeous," you flirted, hands on his shoulders and full weight sitting on his crotch area. it wouldn't take long until you found a tent under you.
"you don't have to try and fluster me every time you see me anymore, you know ..." he mumbled as he lost any ounce of control under you.
"where's the fun in that?", you smirked as your hands traced their way under his shirt, pulling it off him without a second thought, "god, how'd you get even more handsome?", you groaned as you took him in, so pretty below you with his long hair and his breathless state.
"i- i just- oh-,"
you gave him no chance to speak, choosing instead to quickly throw off your his own shirt and lower your lips down to his. the kiss was immediately heated. you could never really help yourself around jungkook, but fortunately, he liked that about you.
he'd gotten a bit less shy with time. his hands were more willing to explore your body nowadays, currently finding themselves on your waist as he pulled you closer to him.
you adored how much more comfortable he'd gotten around you, both sexually and not so. at times, he'd even initiate sex with you. these instances were a bit awkward for him, but you always liked to encourage him, letting him know through your enthusiasm how much you enjoyed it when he went after what he wanted.
however, you still had to keep him on his toes somehow.
like now.
"no touching, baby," you murmured between kisses, grabbing onto his hands and pinning them above his head as you leaned down onto him.
with a simple gulp, he nodded, lips shyly smooching so you'd kiss him again.
continuing your kiss, your hands went down to his torso, sneaking under the fabric and beginning to play with the skin there. your fingers traced the ridges of his abs, adoring how he shuddered against you but made no complaint. the silent effect of your actions only lasted up until your hands made their way north, eventually finding his nipples and tracing them teasingly.
the poor boy under you whimpered against your lips. his arms made some movement, but did not stray away from where you'd left them above his head, still pressed together as he attempted to follow your directions and not touch you.
your next move was to rid him of his clothes altogether, requiring to get off him for a few moments but immediately taking your rightful place straddling him on his bed once more.
"prettiest thing i've ever seen," you hummed as you looked down at him, leaning down to press kisses on every inch available.
"please ..." he mumbled when your lips first made contact with his chest, knowing their next destination.
ignoring him, you continued as before, letting your lips find their way to his nipple and twirling your tongue around it in a teasing manner. your barely there touch had him whining at the contact, wanting more from you.
you took pity on him, deciding to go all the way and suckling on the bud just how you knew he liked. except the poor boy could barely handle the pleasurable pain that came from it. he writhed under you as you alternated between pecs, filling his chest with love bites that'd flourish by the next morning.
the kisses made their way down his body, landing at his happy trail by the time you lowered yourself to your knees at the end of the bed. with a bite to your lip, you enjoyed the view of what was to be in your mouth in mere moments.
jungkook sat up, wanting to see what threat of pleasure approached him next. he groaned upon seeing how hungry you looked eyeing his hardness, but he remained a good boy by keeping his hands to his sides rather than reaching for you.
"a-ah, fuck," he groaned as soon as your lips made contact with his member, lightly closing in on his tip and suckling at it in a way that had his breath catching and eyes rolling back.
keeping your eyes on the trembling boy, you caught glimpse of his hands fisting harshly at the sheets, holding himself back from wrapping around your hair as he usually did. the thought made you smile around him. he was so so sweet and well mannered.
deciding to be just as nice, you engulfed as much of him as you could, practically deepthroating him. his reaction was immediate, whining and writhing above you while you had your fun with his cock.
"p-please, oh fuck, please," he pleaded for nothing in particular.
you weren't one to ever deny him of anything. every one of your actions was meant to aid him in his pleasure.
humming against him, you slobbered all over him, not minding the mess of your saliva and his cum slowly dripping down onto your chin as long as the pretty boy above you was losing himself because of you.
as per usual, his orgasm hit him pretty quick. as shy as he was, he was never too timid to let himself cum when he hit his limit. jungkook was one to appreciate the pretty girl giving him pleasure by demonstrating his immense appreciation.
it always got to you how loud he became while cumming, which was currently causing a mess in your panties. you decided to enjoy every drop of his orgasm before paying mind to that, though.
finally done torturing him by licking off any remnants off his dick, you climbed up his body and sat yourself on his lap with a smile, leaning in for a teasing tongue-filled kiss before humming in satisfaction against his breathless lips.
"did i tell you i love how you're growing out your hair?"
he gulped.
"you've, uh, you've mentioned."
845 notes · View notes
multicohn · 3 months ago
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summary: fans don’t like lando’s new girlfriend because how scary and emotionless she looks, but he could care less.
warnings: mention of fans not liking the reader
pairing: fem! reader x lando norris
genre: fluff, short one shot, established relationship
face claim: none
author note: lowkey kinda sucks. i don’t have much motivation to write rn but i wanted to upload something 🥲
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the couple had only been dating for only eight months before lando decided to reveal his girlfriend to the public. y/n had no problem with keeping it a secret since they were both unsure if their relationship would even work given the busy schedules they had, but through a lot of communication they managed to make it work. however, fans weren’t very happy since y/n always looked emotionless or angry on screen and in photos despite lando having a giant smile on his face that could rival all might’s ( my hero academia reference ) when he’s beside her. his fans were very vocal about how they felt about her, but neither of them cared.
the british grand prix was only a few days away and ever since they started dating, lando had dreamed of having her being by his side. however, y/n ( had exams that weekend / couldn’t get time off work ). he tried not to show that he was upset, brushing it off with a simple; "well, there's always next year", but y/n knew him too well and knew how much this race meant to him. any other race would have been understandable, but this was the british grand prix.
when lando arrived on thursday, he was immediately greeted by cameras, microphones, and merchandise being shoved at him from every direction.
"you look a little down, lando. not a fan of the weather?" it was quite cloudy that day and the rain was starting to pick up, but it was far from the reasoning behind his mood
"just didn't get a good sleep"
"oh?"
y/n had gone to bed much earlier than usual, saying she needed all the energy she possibly could for tomorrow. lando inquired about what was so important, but she refused to tell him. he had stayed up last night and wondered about what was happening; was her exam worth much more than he realised? / did her job have a special work thing going on that he doesn't remember?
lando sighed deeply as he made his way inside the hospitality area. his hand itching to grab his phone and text y/n despite knowing that she would be busy.
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y/n had lied.
she knew how much this race in particular meant to lando and she wasn’t going to miss it, but the thought of surprising him made her lie about school / work.
unfortunately, her plan slightly backfired as she was going to surprise lando when he finished his practice session, but the weather delayed everything.
shrugging it off, y/n entered the garage to find her boyfriend dressed in his race suit with a windbreak over top and looked to be dozing off in a chair.
“lando” y/n tapped his shoulder gently as she sat down beside him
“oh, hey baby” he commented while staring at her sleepily
. . .
he suddenly shot out of his chair making those around them jump in fright at the sudden movement.
“y/n?” lando rubbed his eyes. sure that his brain is still asleep and making him hallucinate
“yeah?”
“am i dreaming?” she rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the tv where they were showing fans who were in colourful ponchos or raincoats
she almost laughed at seeing someone’s poncho decorated with george russell’s face.
however, all emotion left y/n's eyes as her face popped up on the screen before it shifted towards lando who was just dazing at her lovingly.
if they were in a cartoon, his eyes would've been hearts.
she heard some people let out “awes” and they started cooing at the couple making the edges of y/n's lips twitch upwards. she turned to her boyfriend and placed a hand on his cheeks before caressing softly.
once they were no longer on screen, y/n leaned forward and kissed her boyfriend gently.
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sugurouge · 1 month ago
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— attention : suna rintarō x f!reader
contains! — mdni: smut, edging, orgasm denial, dirty talk, marking, condescending pet names (like baby, angel, good girl, bunny), pussy spanking, biting — 2.8k words
summary: brat taming with rin cause it's apparently really hard to shut up when he's on an important call with his manager
a/n: ugh coming back to hq in 2024 wasn't on my bingo card but i have too many sunarin thoughts and never posted this fic
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People want something from Rin way too often—be it his team, his sponsors, or his stupid social media addiction. Of course, he mostly has the latter under control whenever he promises to focus his attention solely on you, but, unfortunately, there isn’t much Rin can do whenever work urgently needs something from him. And you are okay with it, for the last hour that is, until the important topics are done being discussed and only this unnecessary small talk remains.
With your eyes glued to his back, you try to get more comfortable on the sofa, turning from left to right, from your stomach to your back—making it a point to huff anytime you move. You're desperate to finally get his attention again.
"Rintarō" is the first quiet plea coming his way. Your cheek is squished by a pillow, cuddling the soft cushion instead of your boyfriend who only shushes you from across the living room. This game goes on, turning into repetitive chants of his "Rin" or pleas like "Please, hang up, I’m really bored."
Listen, it’s not that Rin dislikes spending time with you; much rather, he gets a kick out of you behaving needy. He already heard the first exaggerated exhale from your pouting lips loud and clear. Yet it's too tempting to keep chatting, to test you further, despite not being much of a talker under different circumstances.
Can you not even survive without his attention for sixty minutes, hm?
You crawl towards the edge of the sofa, arms resting on the headpiece, to get somewhat closer to him. "Rin… you promised me," you drawl, batting your lashes at him when he finally looks at you.
"You promised you’d take care of me. You promised to give me what I want today. You promised to fuck me, and yet you only sit on that stupid phone and ignore me like you always do!" You don't even care if the person on the side of the call can hear you.
Yes, you over-exaggerate. Of course, how else can you finally get him to end the call and stalk his way over to you? Yet, regret is the last emotion plaguing your mind when his green eyes practically pierce through your body, cool fingertips squishing your cheeks and forcing a pout on your lips.
Rin bends down to match your level, head slightly tilted as his lips near yours. Oh, the excitement that courses through your body is delicious. "You’ve never been that annoying before, you know that?" he mumbles, as he smirks against your lips and pulls back again. His free hand runs along your leg, blunt nails tickling the soft flesh once he draws closer to your inner thighs, index and middle finger signalling with a push to part your legs for him.
The feather-light sensations of his fingertips dragging along your warm and slightly wet panties is already enough to have you hum in satisfaction. "So warm and eager," he pouts, faking sympathy for how you submit to him like such a needy thing. Your hips buck in reply to his touch, lips trying to close the distance between your mouths, prompting his fingers to tighten their hold on your cheeks.
"Though, I really wish you wouldn’t have behaved like this…" His eyes quickly scan the room before landing on you again. "I would have loved to fuck you, baby. It’s been on my mind all week, I felt so bad for being busy. You know that?" Rin mumbles, tilting your head sideways to kiss your neck. "Wanted to make you cream on my cock, wanted to fill you so badly and reward my pretty girl for being so patient for me."
His tongue licks a greedy strip along your pulsing artery before his teeth nip at the wet area, nibbling on your neck until you turn desperate.
"Mh? You’re so wet too. All for me? All because of the little fantasies in your filthy head, yeah?" His words rain in on you, and all you’re really able to process are his mentions about stuffing you full and making you cream. Your legs shut tight around his fingers to lock them in place. "I’m sorry..." What a pathetic little apology.
"Are you really? Or is your pussy thinking for you right now?" His chuckles vibrate against your skin as his fingers push your panties aside, one finger entering you with such ease you should feel embarrassed. "Fuck…" he breathes against the shell of your ear, his eyes falling shut once a second finger explores your gummy walls. "I’d love nothing more than to stretch you on my cock. I want you so bad, angel."
The mockery, the condescending pet names, and his stupid fingers curling against your spongy spot—it’s all a little too enticing.
"Rin, please. I’m really—ah, I’m so sorry, really sorry. I’ll be good, I won’t do it again." You try to convince him, tugging at his shirt as your eyes search for his.
Deft fingers still inside you, while his thumb now teases your clit, softly rubbing the little bundle while Suna, once again, brings distance between your faces. He allows himself a moment to admire your pretty features with that adorable desperation in your eyes. You lean into the caress of his palm against your cheek. "Never again? You promise me?" he mumbles the question.
You nod slightly as your begging gaze meets his squinted eyes—suspicion written all over his features. "Promise," you whisper as if it’s a secret shared between you two.
Rin's sigh softens his expression, easing the tension from your body since his words are so sweet. "Hmm, well since you promise me so nicely to behave, I think I should properly reward you."
Your back meets the sofa in an instant, legs spread wide by large hands digging into the tender flesh as he litters your inner thighs with kisses. The sensation of his mouth sucking on your skin makes you mewl and further press your thigh against his mouth. It shouldn’t feel this good for him to ruin you, but his teeth bruising your legs all the way to your core is addictive.
"Fuck, Rin~" you breathlessly moan when his tongue licks along your soaked panties, his gaze resting on your face to watch your every reaction. You're ready to go on your knees and beg the moment he sits back to tug his shirt off, revealing his toned body for you. Your clothes follow suit; he's carelessly tugging your skirt and panties off in one go—the strength behind his actions is pulling your body down until your ass pushes against his legs.
That first feeling of his clothed cock meeting your pussy won't allow you a moment of breather. You're all consumed by searing kisses along your neck, by greedy hands lifting your top until your bra is exposed to Rin's eyes and the tight fabric of your top pushes your tits further together. His hips lazily roll against yours, worry about slick staining his pants the last thing on Rin's mind. "I want you so fucking bad," he pants, the strain in his voice already so painfully clear.
"Can’t you just…?" you practically whine, tugging at his roots as his face is buried between your tits, lips busy spoiling your skin in kisses as he mumbles into your skin how "You’d learn nothing from it, would you?"
Your neediness causes his cock to twitch in his pants, hips pushing against yours. Low moans dampen your skin, they bring shivers to spread over your body and a "I hate you," with too little strength to your voice to leave your lips.
Pointed canines dig into the soft skin of your stomach, making you regret your words as he carelessly leaves indentations. "You love me," Rin mumbles, before flattening his tongue to lick over the irritated area. His hands snake around your thighs to further spread them once his travels lead him further down your body. Leaving kiss after kiss until his breath ghosts over your clit, the tip of his tongue darting out just for a taste test.
The kiss on your lower lips is most likely the softest one you’ve received all day, reminding you of how tender Rin can actually be—when you don’t annoy him relentlessly. His mouth latches onto your pussy, tongue pressing against your clit to apply a nearly unbearable amount of pressure, making you squirm beneath and move against him. Impatiently, you push your pussy into his face, shamelessly trying to grind against him, seeking the delicious friction he seems willing to give; until you cry out in surprise.
Until his mouth closes and his teeth drag along the overly sensitive and thin skin of your swollen pussy. The stinging pain brings tears to fill your eyes as his upper jaw meets his lower one, his front teeth tugging on your clit while the tip of his tongue plays with the flesh trapped between his teeth.
Rin pulls back once the grip on his roots turns painful. The smack to your pussy with his flattened hand follows almost right after, before his middle and ring fingers enter you again.
By now, you've turned shameless. Loud moans bounce off the walls of your living space, they almost sound helpless as they mix with your pathetic attempts to fill your lungs with air while Rin moves his fingers.
The pain he previously inflicted on your clit makes it almost too easy to push you towards an orgasm. Thanks to his observant nature, Rin can quickly notice the hints of your impending high. It brings a sly smile to his lips as he returns to once again lean over you. Hand propped up beside your head, he basks in the heavenly sight before his eyes, his hand moving faster, fingers curling just right until your legs quiver.
"You’re really cumming because I bit your clit, huh?"
You nod all too willingly, heavy eyes falling shut to let your tears run free and drown in your orgasm. Yet, it never arrives. Instead of the sweet release of your orgasm washing over your body, you only feel the tingling sensation inside your core subside as Rin stills his movements, fingers resting inside your clamping walls until he feels you loosen up.
"Don’t!" nothing but a sad protest. "Please, let me cum."
Fuck, your expression is heavenly. Those sparkling eyes now filled with lust, the wobbly lower lip, and the bounce to your tits as you fight for deeper breaths. It makes Rin‘s cock ache with lust.
He purses his lips, scanning your face for a moment longer before his fingers thrust inside you again—pausing just a moment later. He repeats the movement, enjoying the way you tighten around him again and again in response to his teasing; it’s just so entertaining to keep you on edge.
"As if we’ve never played this game before, pretty," Rin mumbles, lips brushing against yours now that he is finally at eye-level with you. "Be good and I’ll let you come as often as you need."
You nod quickly, brows furrowing to make you look even cuter. Your hands paw at his body, holding on to his shoulders and digging into his sides. "I’ll be good, I’ll behave, swear."
His soft kiss against your forehead is comforting, unlike his slick-drenched fingers rubbing on your clit, circling eternal patterns on the blood-rushed area until they enter your pussy again. "Yeah? You really want my cock that desperately?"
You hum, your heavy lids closing as you dance dangerously close to your orgasm. "Really want your cock, Rinnie," you mumble, absentmindedly nodding in agreement, ready to welcome your sweet release.
His tongue replaces his thumb, lips harshly sucking on your clit while he curls his fingers inside you. Your legs squish his cheeks in return, hips bucking against him. Your moans are the prettiest sounds to ever reach Rin's ears while the knot in your core is growing tighter with every move he makes.
Rin holds a firm grip on your thigh, wet fingertips pressing against your twitching muscles as he almost tastes your orgasm on his tongue. His eyes roll in their sockets, it's tough not to get too aroused by how perfectly you suffer.
"So close," you hum, excitement lingering in your announcement as breathing becomes more and more difficult. Yet the smile that was about to spread on your lips dies as quickly as it was about to spread once Rin forces you to hold still. Fingers leaving your cunt, he watches you pulse around nothing, walls trembling to feel the emptiness inside your hole instead of bliss.
His lips withdraw from your clit, expertly ignoring the pain of your fingers as they desperately try to hold onto his hair. What an awful reminder of how powerless you are once Rin effortlessly frees himself from your grip.
Shamelessly, he kneels down to stare at your pitiful state, noting how swollen your lips are as the light of the late afternoon sun highlights the glistening of your slick. Rin’s face doesn’t look much different, drenched in your arousal as he licks his lips and brings his wet face to yours.
Something about your tear-stained face is too beautiful for him and the way you turn your head sideways to dodge his filthy kiss is his favourite game.
Another smack against your pussy makes you shriek, more tears running over your face as you try to push him away. “Brat,” Rin mumbles, a click of his tongue tauntingly ringing in your ear. “You know why I do this. Don’t make it worse now, sweetheart.”
The following caress of your thigh is gentle, his kisses on your cheek soft and comforting—making it impossible to decipher his next moves. Go on, tell him.
“I-I behaved like a spoiled brat,” you hiccup, begging eyes finally daring to look into your boyfriend’s. For a moment, you find nothing but adoration in them.
Rin hums in return and adjusts his position on top of you, his body gently pressing against yours and caging you beneath him. The hard outline of his cock pushes against your leg, the hiss against your skin hot while his fingers hover over your pussy once more.
“P-please, I c-can’t take another—Rin, it’s too much, I’ve learnt my lesson, really!” you ramble on, panic spreading throughout your body.
The continuous pecks all over your exposed skin confuse you, luring you in to further seek comfort from the same guy who drives you mad.
“What do you want? Come on, tell me, pretty baby. Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.” The sweetness laced in his voice makes it impossible not to trust him again. So, your arms find their way around his neck, your tears wetting his skin as your lips brush against the shell of his ear. “Want you, Rin.”
Rin’s hand follows your waistline, thumb shortly teasing your breast until his fingers grab your chin and force you out of your hiding spot. “Hm? I couldn’t hear you. Repeat that for me,” he whispers against your lips, his eyes staring at you like prey.
“Please, I-I can’t, I want you to fuck me, I need you. Really, really need you. So bad!” The tip of his nose brushes against yours before softly kissing you. Until he pulls away, until this little demon returns and pouts right in your face. “Did I tire my baby out, hm? Was I too much?” He sounds so kind, how could you register the warning sings?
His fingers return to hover over your clit, teasing with feathery touches until you twitch with each move. “So sensitive,” Rin muses, forcing himself to bite back his grin. “I think you really need my cock, need me to fill your cute little pussy…” The pressure of his fingers increases, lubricating them once more in your arousal.
You merely nod, hands carding through his hair while your entire body begs for your orgasm.
“And I really want to be inside you too, bunny.” He groans, accentuating his desires by pressing his cock against your inner thigh. “You’d feel so good wrapped around me, your pretty whines and begs all I need to come deep inside you.” His jaw tightens, a display of how much his own dirty talk affects him, before he resorts to hiding his face in the crook of your neck.
Rin’s fingertips dip into your wet entrance once, twice. “You have no clue how hot it is when you squeeze me like that, feeling like you want to milk me dry,” he hums. His voice and words drive you wild, your hips pushing against his hand once more before another harsh slap snaps you out of your cloudy mind.
The stinging of the painful contact between his hand to your pussy lingers on your skin, sending vibrations through your puffy lips and causing tears to once again dance along your lash line. Your fingers wrap around his wrist immediately, your mind already aware of what his next move will be, as you desperately try to keep him in place.
But he pulls back, air hitting your uncomfortably hot and dripping pussy as you’re left with a kiss to your forehead. “But not today, not when you behave like a spoiled princess,” he murmurs, the disappointment and amusement evident in his tone.
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dividers from @/cafekitsune + @/strangergraphics
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yayll · 4 months ago
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~ a little something about Dazai's impeccable detective skills... only when it comes to you ~
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"Uh-huh... And you said you were meeting someone last night?" Dazai pretends to jot down this information, his brows slightly furrowed as he scribbles into the notepad he conjured up from his long tan coat just a few seconds ago.
"Yes, that's correct."
"Ah, I see.. Fascinating. And how was it?"
"How was what?"
"Your date." He says, smugly. His head tilts in mock innocence, and his smile stays plastered on his lips while he watches you practically choke on your own spit. Now he's really going to start writing details down...
"Oh, no, it wasn't like that. Nothing that official, heh." You fidget with your fingers, looking down, and suddenly your shoelaces are the most interesting thing you've ever seen. You didn't think questioning would last this long, you weren't even involved in the crime, but this eccentric detective before you says all witnesses are vital for the investigation and you're just doing your civil duty as a valued member of society!
And this drives Dazai insane... how ridiculous that you don't have a clear standing within the life of whomever you were seeing. It should be a crime, really! If you were his, no one would ever hear the end of it. He hums to himself, nodding as if in deep thought as he draws a heart around your name in his notepad, adding his own name right under yours. He clears his throat and looks back up at you, making sure his knees don't give out at the way you seem so bashful around him.
"I beg your pardon? Do I hear that a young and beautiful person has not been swept off their feet successfully?"
Just before you can answer, a young man with white hair and a peculiar asymmetrical haircut runs to Dazai's side. He peers at his notes, and nervously chimes in.
"Er, Dazai? Mister Kunikida wanted me to come find you, but I didn't think you'd actually be working- Why are there so many hearts drawn-"
Dazai immediately moves his hand over the young man's face and comically shoves it away from his notepad, still smiling at at you. He speaks through gritted teeth and a nervous chuckle.
"Not now, Atsushiiiii, I'm working~"
This causes Atsushi to grumble, his face deflating into an annoyed sigh as his gloved hand scratches the top of his head.
"But Dazai, this is kind of important, and I really don't want to have to be the one to tell Kunikida that you're slacking off again..."
Dazai instantly snaps his head to look at Atsushi, pointing at you with dramatic flair, his voice reaching a mocking pitch.
"Oh, but I'm not, young Atsushi! I've come out here on pure basic instinct... I'm conducting a very serious investigation, and so unfortunately Kunikida and the rest of the folks at the agency will just have to wait for my genius intellect to come up with a tantalizing resolve. Get Ranpo to help. 'Kay byeee!~"
Dazai grabs you by the arm and though the gesture is hasty, he's surprisingly very gentle as he drags you away from the white haired young man. You're now standing outside a cafe and Dazai takes out what looks like a business card, presenting it to you. He scans your slightly confused face, and thinks about what other precious faces you'd make for him if he stuck around you long enough like the hound dog he is. He wonders if you'd let him touch your arm again, maybe even your hand... maybe even your-
"Are you okay, Dazai?" You ask in slight concern. Oops! He's been nonverbal for too long. He shakes his head rapidly and lets out a soft chuckle.
"Never been better! Here, take this, it's my personal contact. I think I've got all the notes I need to finish my work, but I seem to be missing one last thing-"
He proceeds to lean in a little, his now softened hazelnut eyes looking into yours intently, and his voice becoming drastically more serious. There's a glint of sincerity, and an emotion you can't quite place, but it makes your blood pressure spike and your cheeks flush at the casual intimacy of it all.
"... A time and date so I can see you again, perhaps?"
You feel yourself feeling giddy, and slightly stammer as your response flows out of you coyly.
"Ooh well, maybe tomorrow in the evening? I'll be off of work then. We can um, get coffee here?" You nod your chin up at the cafe sign, and flash him a soft smile. A smile that will keep him happily satiated until tomorrow.
"Ah, then it's a date! An official one..." He winks at you, and pats the top of your head, the feeling is light and angelic. By the time you recover, he's gone. You get a last glimpse of the way the tail of his coat swishes as he sharply turns the corner of the street, and you stand there smiling like a giddy schoolgirl. What you don't know is he does the very same thing, thinking about how playing with the fire of his own destiny is worth ruining if he could cement himself into your heart. In his adoring eyes, you could do no wrong. That's his job.
454 notes · View notes
novemberheart · 5 months ago
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{overview} Its agreed. The 141 needs an omega. But how will you react after already being rejected by them?
{warnings} Fem reader, a/b/o dynamics, light pricexsoap
Chapter 1 <- Chapter 2 -> Chapter 3
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“Visitor!” Ms. Helen knocked on your door, causing it to open.
“What did you do now?” Miriam smirked from her bed next to you.
“Nothing.” You replied, baring your teeth playfully. She laughed, throwing a pillow at you on your way out. “Do I get to know?” you hummed, trying to keep up with Ms. Helen.
“No,” she responded harshly. She was all bark no bite. You rolled your eyes, running your fingers across the wall as you followed her to the visitation room. It was cozy, and designed to make omegas comfortable. Soft lighting, lots of windows and things to hide behind. When the door opened you caught sight of a familiar blonde.
“Kate.” You cheered, as Ms. Helen shut the door to give you two privacy.
“Hey, Honey.” she greeted warmly, giving you a tight squeeze.
“How's Robin?” You asked, plopping down with her on the couch.
“She's good, busy with the dogs and garden. She says ‘hi’.” Kate smiled, taking a quiet deep breath of your scent. Peaches and Vanilla. It wasn't nearly as fulfilling as her wife's scent, but it was enough to take her slight edge off.
“Please tell me you're breaking me out of here for lunch.” You pleaded to the alpha next to you.
“We can do that after.” She smiled at you. “There is something we need to discuss first.” The smell of nervous alpha drifted towards your nose, giving you goosebumps.
“Alright.” You said slowly. You projected your scent, trying to cover hers. It seemed to work.
“I have a placement for you.” She finally admitted. The first reaction you had was to wince, your head beginning to feel light as your lungs dropped to your stomach along with your heart.
“Really?” You said slowly. “Did they pick me?” was your second question. Her smile faltered a bit.
“No. But I'm picking you.”
You guess that'll have to do.
You and Kate had known each other for a little over a year now. She had met you when she was interviewing omegas to be paired with military packs. You quickly became her favorite, (and almost everyone else’s who interviewed you) and she knew exactly where to put you. Unfortunately, the rest of your ‘soon to be’ pack wasn't as willing. Kate put a hold on you though. Leaving you effectively stuck in an omega-holding house.
“They've already rejected me before, Kate.” It came out as a whine, you couldn't help it. “Is it the same pack? What's going to make this any different?”
She winced at the noise, her brows furrowing.
“Yes, it’s the same pack. And they didn't reject you, they just rejected the idea of an omega.” she corrected. “It's different this time because they've wised up. They asked me to find them an omega.”
“And here I am,” you said glumly.
“None of that.” she scolded, her hand smacking against your knee. “You still have their files?” She asked. You nodded your head. Of course, you still had their files. They practically haunted you.
Plus it was just about the only eye candy you could get in a place like this.
“You remember Simon right?” she continued. You nodded your head. The only man in your file without a picture. He was a fan favorite amongst your friends, along with Kyle. Something about the mystery just had everyone's wheels turning. “He got hurt. Hospitalized.”
“That's terrible.” You gasped. “He’s going to be alright?”
She quickly nodded her head. “Yes, but on the bright side, it made them realize how much they need you,” she said softly. You begin to have a gnawing feeling in your stomach and you are one more fact away from getting the shakes. “Calm down.” she groaned, waving a hand in front of her face. When nervous your scent turned from sweet to sour. Not in a moldy fruit way, but in a strong lemon way. Kate could feel her mouth pucker.
“I can't help it.” you groaned back. “I thought I was going to die in this place. Now you're telling me I have to leave and go out into the world. Not only that but I get to join a pack that has no interest in me other than a healer. You know what it's my turn to refuse.” You snapped. “If that Captain ‘Cost’ or whatever his name is wants me then he can come down here and ask me.” You snapped.
“Captain Price.” Kate corrected, working her hardest to stifle a laugh. “How about we go to lunch, then you can think about it. I can tell you a bit more about them. Maybe that’ll change your mind? Hhhm?” She soothed, patting you on the back.
Who were you to turn down lunch?
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Simon had yet to fully wake up. The doctor was right, waking up was a nightmare. John had decided to spend the night outside Simon’s door- just in case. The sound of a thundering growl quickly jolted him awake. John had to tranquilize Simon himself, through a hole in the door. First and hopefully last time he'd ever have to use a blow dart.
It went on like this every few hours, until finally the nurses just decided to keep him under. Simon had cracked a few of his ribs in the fight with himself, along with obtaining more bumps and scrapes.
“Poor lad.” John huffed, after telling the rest of the pack.
“Didn't happen to record any of it did you?” Johnny questioned. “What?!” he spat after Kyle and John glared him down. “Simon drugged up trying to fight nonexistent enemies. Don't sit here and tell me it wasn't entertaining.” Johnny smirked. Kyle pressed his lips together, his imagination slowly taking control.
“Was a sight.” John admitted finally. John suddenly leaned forward his finger tapping against the Scots left shoulder, where Simon’s mark was.“That's one of your alphas you're talking about.” John corrected. Johnny shivered, instinctually leaning into John's warm touch.
“Technically he's the second alpha. You're the pack alpha.” Johnny continued, wanting to soak up as much affection as he could. It worked.
“Good boy.” John praised, his hand drifting over to Johnnys' right shoulder, where his mark was. Johnny purred, his eyes drifting over to Kyle who was watching the whole ordeal with slowly lowering eyelids. Kyle snapped himself out of it.
“Not in public.” Kyle reprimanded.
“You're just jealous.” Johnny nearly panted.
“You get worked up so fast,” John murmured.
“Still got any tranquilizers?” Kyle growled.
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After talking with Kate and about three margaritas later you had softened. She had dropped you back off at the omega house holding house, with a tight hug, promising you that everything would work out.
John twitched in surprise when his phone began buzzing in his pocket.
“Kate?”
“When do you need her?”
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Yay, you're here for chapter two! Chapter three will be uploaded in two days! See you there 🧡🤎
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mythicmanuscripts · 5 months ago
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Hi, could you write something about Aegon burned and having difficulty walking and his wife taking care of him and him being ashamed and at the same time needy and only wanting her? sorry, English is not my first language
Oh god anon you really know how to tug on the heart strings. And now unfortunately all of you will have to learn about my love for angsty shit, so buckle up lads.
My first thought is how Aegon's trust in anyone must be completely shattered? His own brother burnt him and tried to kill him. When he wakes up and the maesters are leaning over him he immediately panics and tries to get away. They say they're trying to help him and try to give him medication but he freaks out every time because how is he supposed to trust anyone ever again?
Of course the moment he wakes up someone runs to tell you, so you get to the room pretty quickly. You see Aegon weakly trying to push them maesters away, begging them not to hurt him.
You tell everyone to stand back and then you walk over to Aegon, taking his hand and pressing a soft kiss to the top of it. Aegon relaxes the moment he sees you. He trusts you, you're the one person he knows would never hurt him.
For the first few days the maesters have to explain to you how to treat aegon's wounds because he wouldn't let anyone else come near him. You do it without complaint of course, and you try to spend as much time as you can with him. You lay next to him in bed and read to him and let him hold your hand and he's just so so thankful.
I think that the shame and avoidance will come once he starts improving actually? Once he needs less milk of the poppy and he can remove his bandages and he has to start walking again. The first time he sees his face in the mirror he cries. He just stands there and silently cries because he thinks he looks like a monster. He has no idea how you managed to stay by his side when he looked like this.
He starts to feign sleep every time you come to check on him, not moving until he's certain you've left the room. He doesn't want you to see his face free of bandages, doesn't want to make you have to look at him and keep up a conversation and care for him.
He lets the maesters tend to him then, and maybe even asks the servants to try and keep you busy and prevent you from seeing him as much as possible. You notice this of course, but you also know that he's in a really fragile state and you don't want to push him out of his comfort zones.
Things really start to get bad when it's time for Aegon to walk and try going up stairs and try climbing into a proper bath. All of that is so so painful and he struggles so much. The servants and maesters try to help him, but he flinches and begs them not to touch him every time.
He's already in so much pain and he doesn't know who he can trust and the maester's touch is always so cold and harsh and it hurts even worse. The maesters don't know what to do because he very clearly needs help and also needs to practice walking again but he won't let anyone touch him.
Deep down, he desperately wants you. He wants to lean against your arm and feel your hand on his waste. He knows he could lean on you and you would help him and he'd even get a kiss when he did well.
But he can't ask you, can't even ask you to see him because he's so scared that once you see how scarred his face is, you will refuse to see him anymore.
While your marriage to Aegon was originally an arranged marriage, you two fell in love quite quickly and Aegon very quickly become dependant on you. So much so that Aegon is widely considered to be the king who loved their queen the most out of all the previous rulers.
So now, to not have your support and to not see you and to be in so much pain? He's struggling so so much.
Maybe one of the maesters eventually have to tell you? They can see that Aegon is not making progress and they fear he may hurt himself if he continues to try and walk on his own or dress on his own or even just bathe on his own.
Your heart breaks when the maester tells you, and you immediately go up to Aegon's chambers. You were originally going to wait until he called you, but after hearing that you know that you have to go to him now.
You find him standing next to his bed, trying to muster up the energy to walk to his cupboard and change clothes. When he sees you, he turns his face away from you, telling you to go away because he looks like a monster.
You just walk right over to him, gently lifting his head and pressing a soft kiss to his unblemished cheek. You tell him that you love him, and that you're his wife. He needs to let someone help him, and you promise him that you have absolutely zero intention of leaving or betraying him, he is your husband, you only want to help.
He kinda just... falls into you? Like he just stops trying to hold his weight and you have to catch him. You slowly lower him down onto the bed and go fetch his clean clothes from the cupboard. You undress and dress him, pressing soft kisses to unburnt skin and telling him how proud you are of him and how strong he is.
From that day onwards, you don't leave Aegon's side while he recovers. You help him as much as you can, going on slow walks around the castle together and keeping his burns clean.
No one else can touch him, in fact no one else can even get close to him. If you vouch for someone and tell Aegon that he needs to trust this person and let them touch him, then Aegon will let them as long as you stay close.
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mochinomnoms · 5 months ago
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How would ptm jade react if Yuu told him about marine mushrooms?
I only know what wikipedia knows about marine mushrooms...unfortunately for yuu mind reading doesn't give them sudden infinite knowledge!
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“You know, with as much as you...like mushrooms and stuff, I'm surprised you haven't mentioned anything about marine fungi.”
You felt a chill run down your spine and Jade's bi-colored eyes on you.
“Pardon?” Does my darling also love fungi? How could I have not known this?
You shifted in your seat, staring down at your notebook as you doodles between the margins. A small button mushroom that you'd absentmindedly drawn minded you of Jade.
And you just happened to be doing research with him for your group project in the library this day.
“Sorry, I just was thinking about it, and it's just surprising to me that you never had, like an aquarium type terrarium or something with them.”
You let out a nervous laugh, after all, it was just you two by yourselves. Riddle and Yev were busy with their dorms due to the Spelldrive Tournament, and your dorm still didn't technically qualify, since all your freshmen were officially in other dorms.
Such a wonderful laugh, I'd like to hear it more...
“Well, to my knowledge, they don't exist.” Jade leaned in, his eyes wide and full of excitement. “By chance, do such mushrooms exist in your world?”
Please tell me more! Tell me lies for all I care, so I may hear your voice...though you wouldn't lie about such things, would you?
You perked up. It was rare that you knew something Jade, or anyone at NRC, had no clue about. It probably wasn't intentional, but the way people would look at you when you had no clue about something make you feel dumb, even though you logically had no way of knowing even the most basic things of this world.
It was kinda nice to be the one to share knowledge with another person.
“Well, I don't know a lot, but they mostly exist in marine environments. I think a few hundred?” You leaned in closer, moving your notebook towards Jade as you started drawing again.
“I can't remember their names very well, but I've always been a more visual person anyways.” You drew a piece of driftwood, a snail, and a rock covered in lichen.
“This one grows in mangroves, usually on the places. But this one grows around the shell of a snail, who eats it. And sometimes lichen will grow with fungi, but I don't know a whole lot about them.”
You paused, pursing your lips in disappointment.
“Sorry, I don't know enough to tell you about them, I know how much you...”
Your words trailed off as you looked back up at Jade, who was resting his check against his palm. He was staring at you with faint smile, and soft, half lidded eyes and pink cheeks.
So beautiful...
Cheeks and chest going hot, you stared back, opening and closing your mouth as you tried to figure out how to respond.
“Uh, Jade, you're, uh, staring...”
Jade stiffened, straightening up and covering his mouth in embarrassment.
“My apologies. I was just....enraptured by your descriptions.” And you. “I don't mind that you aren't familiar, but I would like to heard more from you about marine fungi. Perhaps you can tell me all about your world's plant life? It never occurred to me that your world would evolve differently, but saying that now, it seems obvious.”
He smiled at you again, his teeth showing a bit more as he excitedly leaned in.
“You struggle in musicology, yes? Perhaps in exchange for your knowledge, I can help you with practice?”
Please say yes!
You paused. Various suggestive scenarios that seem more apt for a risqué site or story flashed through Jade's mind in giddy anticipation.
You know better. You know what Jade's hoping for. You shouldn't string him along, you're going to get embarrassed. You're going to get uncomfortable, you're...
Another daydream, one of you two curled over a book, as you leaned into Jade's side while his arm pulled you closer, invaded your mind like a parasite in your brain. He had a tender smile as you laughed at something he said, your free hand reached up to cradle his cheek.
Maybe parasite is a harsh word. When the thoughts Jade had were so sweet and soft, it almost made you want to give in.
Almost.
“It's okay, I'm just a choir member, so there's not much for me to improve on.” You could hear your more logical voice sigh in the back of your mind. “But I'm happy to share...if you help me figure out if the mushrooms growing behind Ramshackle are edible.”
I'm weak…
Jade blinked, processing what you said.
Really? “Really?” Even Jade seemed like he was anticipating your rejection.
“Yeah, why not.” You shrugged, Jade's internal excitement flooding into your subconscious and influencing your own emotions. “Means less money to spend on food, and I'm sure you know plenty of yummy recipes we can use if they do end up good!”
Jade rarely smiled, at least not genuine, bare-teethed smiles. Despite the sharpness of them, you weren't put off by them, or him, at all.
“I would be honored.”
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mayukisu · 6 months ago
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CHILDE X FEM!READER
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Tags: NSFW, somnophilia, non/dubcon, childhood friends, cunnilingus, raw sex
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You would have never suspected Childe of doing such a thing. You had always been close to each other since you were childhood friends, but you never expected that he would go this far.
Of course, as his best friend, you were always by his side. Everyone thought you were dating, and if you weren't, they believed you would sooner or later. Yet you always denied it. That was what stung most— you always denied it and shrugged off the possibility that you two would be dating.
Yet here you were, defenseless under him. Of course, as a deep sleeper, you never would have known that he was on top of you at all. After all, he was extra careful not to wake you up.
Ever since you two grew up, he had noticed the changes in your body and would find it hard to hold back. He always pondered how your thighs would feel beneath his hands, if they were to tremble if he were to touch them, and if you would flinch if he cupped the swell of your breasts. You would never think that he always fantasized about groping your breasts from behind, flicking his fingers so he could play with your nipples. He knew it was shameless of him, especially when he would go hard when you were hanging out together. But you never knew how he felt, and it was frustrating.
You planned to hang out with each other today and unfortunately, you had to cancel because he said he was busy. Little did you know, he came to your place to surprise you because he got home a bit early, but you were in a deep slumber. Your mother told him to just come to your room since you had known each other since you were in diapers. She trusted him as much as she did you.
So here he was, his eyes practically fucking you— your legs were spread wide and he was in between them, your shirt and bra pushed up to reveal your chest to his ravaging eyes. His ocean eyes seemed drunk, thirsty even, that if you were to gaze into them, you wouldn't recognize him at all.
Two of his fingers had been rubbing your slit for a while now, the sound of your slick obvious, and his hand drenched in your juice. He sighed, finding it beautiful. He had locked the door earlier so no one would interrupt you. He was shameless enough to do such indecent things while your mother was downstairs.
This wasn't his intention when he came first. He just wanted to be by your side until you woke up, but he was getting needy and it didn't help that you slept with half your shirt pushed up and wearing only your panties. Of course, he wouldn't know that you touched yourself at the thought of him before you fell asleep from exhaustion.
His other hand carefully cupped your breast, kneading it and feeling his heartbeat race as he felt how tender it was. He let his thumb brush over your nipple, and he immediately stopped when he felt you shiver. He froze, thinking you'd wake up, but you were still asleep which made him smirk and continue.
He then moved away from your position, unzipping his pants and taking them off. He was left in his boxers, rubbing himself gently as he placed his face close to your womanhood. His eyes were filled with excitement as he saw how wet you were. Childe licked your slit slowly, kissing your clit several times which made your legs shiver— no, still fast asleep. He hardened his tongue and focused on your hole, circling around it as his thumb started playing with your clit. When you started cumming, he sucked on your juices as he penetrated your hole using his tongue, thrusting it in and out before he wiped his lips with the back of his hand.
He felt guilt eating him up, but his desire was shamefully greater than his guilt. When he inched closer to you, he knelt in between your spread out legs, and laid on top of you after. He was in between your legs, his other arm fishing under your torso to pull you closer to his hot body. His scars were evident and you had always loved them, though he never knew. He put his face closer to your chest, licking a nipple while he cupped the other breast. He flicked his tongue over the nip and sucked, closing his eyes from the pleasure. Heavens, you were trembling before his touch. You were in a deep sleep, but you were close to waking up.
When he knelt back up, he slipped his length out of his boxers and slid it up and down your folds, shivering as he fought back his desire.
He knew you'd hate him if he slipped it in. He knew your lifelong friendship would be ruined if he fucked you while you were sleeping, but he was panting and he found it hard to hold himself back.
"Just the tip," he whispered to himself, lining his cock in your entrance, circling its head on the hole before he pushed it in slowly. He groaned, your tightness pleasurable, and he couldn't fight back his desire to just slide everything in and fuck you raw.
"I'm sorry, Y/N, I'm so sorry,"
But what he didn't realize was that the moment he inserted his shaft in you, you had woken up and relaxed within his arms. When you wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him closer, he froze and looked down on you. Your eyes were overflowing with lust and neediness, lips parted as if you were begging to be kissed.
"I'll forgive you if you satisfy me, Ajax."
And heavens, did he fuck you so good.
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rose-tinted-kalopsia · 9 months ago
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≡;-꒰ 𝑿𝑨𝑽𝑰𝑬𝑹 ꒱₊˚ ପ⊹ I  𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍
╰┈➤ ❝ xavier x afab!reader | smut nsfw 18+ mdni
tags : softdom!xavier, reader has negative thoughts, implications of depression (not explicitly stated/mentioned), implication of self-harm (scars) (not detailed), slight arguing (ish), cuddling, praise and reassurance, kissing and making out, nipple play, slight clit play, fingering, soft and lazy foreplay, use of pet names "angel" "princess", lmk if i missed any tags !! ((slightly unedited))
note : the depiction of depression in this work does not mean to generalize; please keep in mind that different people can experience depression very differently!
wc : 6.1k
youtiful masterlist | works masterlist
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You blew your hair out of your face as you walked quietly, your footsteps moving slow as you climbed the staircase of your apartment complex. Your hand was loosely holding the upper arm opposite to it, and you sighed.
You couldn't even practice your own profession without making things harder for everyone.
You bit back a grimace recalling the low-level Wanderer that you had even barely managed to kill—how embarrassing! Sure, maybe it had been particularly difficult for you to get proper sleep, and, sure, maybe it had been just as hard for you to find your appetite enough to eat as much as you should be eating—
But the point still stood.
You were supposed to be an accomplished Hunter, and yet, here you were, walking home with wound marks from a Wanderer that most beginners could easily defeat.
If Jenna and the rest of the team knew...
You shook your head.
They shouldn't know...
You grimly moved your thumb over the sensor of your door lock, when your ears picked up the sound of light footsteps.
It was as if by instinct that you whipped your head around almost immediately, and when your eyes fell upon a set of very familiar blue ones, you almost felt yourself shrink back.
Xavier.
"...Oh," was all he said for a moment, stopping a few feet away from you, tilting his head to the side. You knew that look; he was observing you. He had obviously found the situation odd, obviously found something wrong and out of place with it, and you weren't particularly surprised—Xavier was always observant.
But you let your arms drop to the side, pulling down your sleeves to the tips of your fingers, and unfortunately, you couldn't help yourself from being a little awkward.
"Um... Hi?" You supplied, attempting a crooked smile.
Xavier didn't reply for a moment, and the silence made your heart beat uncomfortably in your chest.
And then,
"You didn't answer," he spoke, finally.
When you gave him a confused look, he gestured towards the pocket of your jeans, where he always knew your phone was.
You winced.
"Oh... Right... Sorry. I, uh? I was kind of busy..."
Your gaze fell to the ground.
"...Okay," Xavier spoke again after a while, but you heard him take a step forward. "I was worried, so I came down to check."
Another pause—
"What were you busy with?"
Your heart thrummed loudly in your chest, and you still refused to look up at him, in fear of making your lie all the more easier for him to dismiss: "Just a little morning outing with Tara!" You tried your best to sound a little energetic.
"So.... You're okay?"
You could feel his eyes boring right into you, and he took another few steps forward until you could see the tips of his shoes from where you stood looking at the ground.
"...Yeah..."
By some magnetic force, your were drawn to look up almost meekly into his eyes, and you knew instantly that it was a giveaway. You faltered when your gazes met; Xavier's eyes were always so impossibly blue that you could never bring yourself to look away once you'd started.
"...Hey... Are you sure?" You watched a small frown grace his features then, and perhaps, it was what triggered what seemed to be a pre-programmed response to any sign of disapproval.
You put up your best smile, and nodded your head. "Yeah! I'm fine! Great, even!"
"But... The way you're standing—"
Xavier reached out as if to grab your arm, but your eyes widened.
You quickly twisted away.
Feeling your heart beat faster, you turned to unlock your door, already taking a step inside. "Nothing's wrong!" You insisted, still smiling cheerfully at him. "I'm feeling absolutely peachy! Just a normal day out! Just, you know. Socializing can get tiring sometimes, right? I'll just, um, get some rest before the banquet later—"
Xavier was observant.
He was always observant.
You knew this, and yet, you had clearly underestimated it.
"...Your blouse..." He murmured, still frowning slightly as his gaze shifted to your collar. It was upturned, and you'd missed a button. Your breath hitched in your throat when you realized that he could easily piece things together from this if you let him study you any longer.
In a rush, you reached over to fix your blous, and then looked back up at him with a nervous laugh. You put your arms in front of you to wave them with denial. "Don't mind it! I, uh... I didn't notice. I must've looked silly all day, haha...!"
And then you noticed your next mistake.
Xavier's eyes slowly traveled lower, and you gasped as you realized that your blouse had ridden up with your sudden movements, exposing a cut on your waist from the Wanderer that you had been fighting. There was no hiding it now, even as you cleared your throat and hurriedly pulled and straightened your shirt.
"You're hurt."
It was a simple statement, and the soft concern in his voice made you exhale slowly.
No, you thought, not now, Xavier...
"I-it's just a little cut. I can deal with it! I know how to treat my own wounds—"
"But you always treat my wounds."
That frown again.
Your mouth went dry.
"...Yes, but... This is... This is different, I'm fine, it's just... Just one cut..."
This time, Xavier's frown deepened, and he didn't say anything else. Instead, he pulled you in through your own door, into your own appartment, and pointed directly towards the couch—
"Sit down."
You chewed on your bottom lip, watching as he walked further into the unit and into your bathroom.
His voice was cold.
It was one you hadn't heard quite often; one he only used when he was... serious. And most notably, one he used more often with other people than yourself.
Your heart sank.
I've really done it this time... you thought, sitting down neevously on your couch and folding your hands neatly onto your lap. You chewed on the inside of your bottom lip.
Your thoughts were going a mile a minute—he was upset, he was angry. He was going to come back out of there and scold you and tell you off, and you could easily have a fight right then and there because you were so needlessly incompetent—
Footsteps.
The door shut.
Xavier knew your apartment like the back of his hand, having been over so often, that it didn't take long for him to find what he was looking for—a few moments, and he emerged from the bathroom holding your familiar first-aid kit.
You felt meek as he walked over, footsteps heavier than usual, getting on his knees in front of you... But he didn't say a single word. He remained silent even as he lifted up your blouse, respectful enough not to lift it unnecessarily high, only just enough to expose your cut. It's kind of him, you thought, the simple action easing your nerves slightly. Despite the fact that you had been intimate several times before, he would still respect your space—even if he was obviously displeased in the moment.
But displeased, he was.
There was tension, and it was undeniable.
Your heart continued to beat rapidly in your chest, feeling small as he treated your wound.
"...It's our day off," he spoke curtly then.
Ah, you thought, now he's addressing the lie I told him...
"...Yeah..." you whispered quietly.
"Jenna knows we have the banquet later on."
"...i know..."
Xavier looked up, frowning, and you bit your lip at the iciness in his stare. "You know, and yet you went out and got yourself hurt."
"Th- there was a wanderer—"
"And you decided you could take it on your own, is that it?"
"B-but I did! It's gone now, and I—"
"It's gone, and you're injured. On. Your. Day. Off."
You swallow down a protest, your lips quivering slightly. You didn't know anymore, if it was the sting from the disinfectant that brought tears to your eyes, or this unusually cold demeanor that you were witnessing from him.
Or, you thought grimly, perhaps it was both.
But it was almost as if Xavier did not notice as he cleaned up your wound, reaching into the kit to bandage it. He kept a solemn, expressionless face, and the silence was loud. Uncomfortable.
"...Xavier..." Your voice came out as barely a whisper, and then he shifted to turn completely to the kit, almost as if rummaging through it.
"I'll need to take off your shirt," he spoke somewhat matter-of-factly, but he still refused to look up at you.
"...H- huh?"
"How many wounds do you have?"
You gulped. "...Just... just this one..."
Another silence.
He paused, and you almost wished that the ground would swallow you whole.
And yet still, again, was the kindness from his usual gentle nature—because he still asked for your permission. He knew well that you never took of your top completely in front of him, always preferring it on even on nights he would make love to you.
...But something told you that he wouldn't be entirely happy to let it go in this moment.
You faltered when he turned his head.
"Don't lie to me."
He narrowed his eyes.
It was a simple statement, and a valid one—you had indeed been lying to him, since the moment he'd caught you in the hallway. And yes, you deserved chastisement for it. Of course you did! When was it ever a good thing to lie so much to your partner? To avoid them and their care? You knew you were being pathetic and he had every right to be upset with you, but—
You swallowed down the lump in your throat, feeling tears prick at your eyes again.
"...Don't..." you pleaded, your voice small. You closed your eyes, bowing your head and moving to draw your knees up to your chest, withdrawing into a closed position. "Don't be like this, Xavier, please... Y- you're scaring me..."
Another apprehensive silence followed after your words, and you felt yourself shiver.
But in the next second, Xavier sighed.
There was a shift in weight on the couch as he sat beside you, and then his hands reached over to rest on top of yours. His touch this time was warm. Gentle. A stark contrast to his earlier treatment.
"...I'm sorry, angel," he murmured. The use of his nickname for you made your heart skip a beat, and he rubbed soft circles over the back of your hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that, I just... Look at me? Please?"
In response, you loosened your hold over your knees, and grip his hand tightly in yours. After a moment, you raised your hed with a pout, your eyes glistening with tears that threatened to spill. But his gaze was soft again—so gentle and loving like you had always known it to be.
"...'M just worried, angel," he whispered, continuing the soft, comforting strokes over your hand. "I... You promised me last time that you wouldn't be reckless, and, angel... You've been so distant lately..."
You watched as his eyes softened into a look of sadness, and your lips quivered.
"I... want you to honor your promise, that's all. These days... In our missions, you've become less cautious, more reckless... More involved with work and more distant with me and with everyone, and I just—I worry about you, angel. I... I don't understand what's going on, and just now, I let my emotions get the better of me, and I... I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."
His apology came out chopped, a little uncertain around the edges, as if he couldn't find the right words to truly say to you. But his voice remained quiet and soothing, no longer as cold and icy as it had been moments ago.
"Talk to me?" he pleaded. "Please, angel?"
And you figured that you should.
This was Xavier, after all—your boyfriend, and the most loving person that you had ever known. You owed him an explanation.
...But your heart remained heavily set in your chest.
You were hesitant.
"I... I don't know how..." You managed to get out, swallowing thickly once more.
Xavier's eyes were so blue, so bright, so kind as he looked at you.
Your gaze dropped back down to your knees.
"...I don't know how to do anything anymore," you whispered. "Even if I tried to explain it to you, I wouldn't know what to say, it's just... It's so much easier to ignore, to pretend like these feelings don't exist."
"What feelings, angel?" You felt his hand squeeze yours in a manner of reassurance, but you shook your head.
"Bad ones," you mumbled, "negative ones. And if I don't keep myself busy, then I can't ignore them. I'll think too much. Then if I think too much, it... it might happen again..."
Your chest felt heavy as you spoke, even as Xavier comfortingly held your hand, even as you knew that he was listening to you with every intention to guide you through... whatever this was.
But you really didn't know how to continue anymore.
How could you say anything when you couldn't understand it yourself?
You felt so... pathetic.
"Angel?" Xavier murmured, lacing your fingers together. "What... might happen?"
For a while, you didn't speak; you didn't move.
And Xaver did not pressure you.
He stayed silent right along with you, rubbing into the palm of your hand, his gaze on you so full of love and concern that it almost made you cry.
So you closed your eyes and pulled your hand away from him. You told yourself that maybe it would be easier if they stayed closed, and you slowly unbuttoned your blouse, shrugging it off of your shoulders. You didn't want to see his reaction... But you knew what he could see, on your skin, now.
There were a few cuts on your shoulder from your fight with the Wanderer, smaller and less concerning than the one on your waist. But as you slid your sleeves down lower to your wrists and shrug it off completely... he'd be seeing more scars. Patterned, and much too neatly placed, to be a result of careless fighting.
"Angel..." you heard him breathe out, a mixture of shock, disbelief, and sorrow.
And only then did you open your eyes, meekly searching for his.
"...I— I haven't done it in weeks!" Damage control. "I'm clean, right now, but... If I don't— If I don't work, I don't— I don't know—"
Before you could break down in tears again, Xavier gently pulled you into his arms, sighing into your hair. "If you don't work, you won't have anything to distract yourself with?" he whispered softly.
You closed your eyes at his warmth, and you nod.
"But... Can I ask you why?"
It was this question that got you to tense up, enough for him to notice.
"I want to help, princess," he looked softly into your eyes as he pulled back slightly, reaching up to brush the hair out of your face. "But... I need to know how. Would you let me? Could you... Tell me? Is that okay?"
The mere fact that he wanted to help made you want to sob.
He was so... nice to you.
So kind, so patient—
You didn't deserve it.
You felt tears well up in your eyes once more, and you screwed your eyes shut, shaking your head. "'M sorry," you choked out, and Xavier immediately held you close.
"No, princess... I'm sorry. I should be the one apologizing. I should have known... I shouldn't have gotten upset at you..."
Tears slid down your face, and you buried your face into his chest. His words churned at your stomach with a heavy feeling you didn't know how to describe. "That's not true," you whimpered. "It's... It's me. I'm always a burden... Always having to make you worry, when you've been trying your best to take care of yourself but I can't even keep a simple promise—"
You began to sob into his sweater. "Why, Xavier? I feel... I feel so worthless. How could I deserve you? How could I deserve anything you give me? And how... How could I be so selfish to want more of it?" You grip him tightly, almost digging into the back of his sweater as everything begins to pour out. "It feels... It feels as if no matter what I do... Nothing ever makes me any worthier of your love. Of anyone's."
And Xavier listened.
He didn't interrupt you, didn't speak—
He listened.
He placed his hand over your back, rubbing softly into your exposed skin, letting you speak until his consistent motions helped you relax slightly in his hold. And after a few moments of your sniffling, he gently peeled you away, before bringing you in for a soft, quick kiss.
Your eyes, blurred with tears, looked up at him confused.
"Nothing can change the way I feel about you, angel," he murmured sweetly. "You do deserve everything, and even more than that. You've done nothing wrong, princess. Don't apologize to me. I worry about you because I want to worry about you... Because I choose to worry about you." He softly placed a hand on your cheek. "Do you remember what I told you? I meant it when I said that. You are special to me. And I want to do everything in my power to protect you, to keep you by my side... to make sure you're okay. I'm sorry that I was so cold to you earlier. I'll be a better source of comfort for you now, I... I'm here, angel. I won't leave."
You remained sniffling as he spoke, and your eyes slowly drifted back down to your lap.
But you found the courage to speak.
"The banquet..." you whispered. "I... I don't want to go."
"Then don't. We don't have to."
"But... But Tara, and Jenna—"
"They won't mind, we won't be the only ones not going, right?"
You looked up, uncertain still. "...And you?"
"Me?"
"You... you said you wanted to go..."
At this, Xavier's eyes softened, and a gentle smile played at his lips. "Well... We could tell them I wouldn't let you leave me... And it wouldn't totally be a lie."
When your gaze had yet to relax, he shook his head with a little laugh. "It's less about the place and the activities... and more about the person you do them with. Remember?" He tucked your hair behind your ear and whispered softly, reassuringly. "Whatever we do, wherever we go, I'll want to be there. Because you would be with me. So if you want to go to the banquet, then I'd want to go to the banquet. But if you want to spend the night here, then I would also want nothing more."
You sniffled again, tears streaming down your cheeks as you felt your chest burst with warmth.
You truly felt so... loved. So seen, so heard, so understood—he was right; you should have gone to him for comfort when all of this had started, instead of trying to distance yourself from everyone you loved.
Xavier reached over to wipe your tears away with the pad of his thumb.
"Shh, don't cry angel..."
And then he leaned down to kiss you, nice and slow, and so soft, and loving. His lips moved delicately; nothing like the passionate kisses you sometimes shared, and for a while the both of you stayed that way. Just soft, fond kisses as he helped your body relax into him, relax into the couch, removing all the tension you had built up in your shoulders.
When you pulled away, you let out a soft sigh. He shifted and pulled you back against his chest, stroking your hair and murmuring sweet words of how much he loved you; how much you meant to him.
And you had never felt so... at peace, before. All these past weeks dealing with the void in your mind that you couldn't chase away—but here, in his arms, it was all minimized. Calm. Your thoughts weren't as scalding as they usually were.
You felt... Safe.
"Better?" he mumbled.
"...Yeah."
You closed your eyes.
There was another quiet silence before you felt him trace the scars on your arm.
"Wish I could help you relax more, make you feel more loved..." he mumbled.
You shook your head. "Despite everything I said, I already feel loved, Xavi, don't feel pressured to—"
"I'm not pressured."
There was determination in his voice when he said this, and you let out a soft, barely-there chuckle.
"Yeah," you smiled, "okay."
And he continued to trace over your scars.
"Angel?"
"Hm?"
"Do you still have thoughts right now?"
"Mmmh... A little bit. Yeah."
You tilted your head up to look at him, searching his eyes. "But... They're not so loud. This is... Comforting."
"Comforting?"
"Yeah. Staying in your arms like this..." Your eyes softened. "You're pretty comforting, Xavier."
"...But, do you... want a distraction?"
His eyes didn't stray away from yours, but you felt his fingers trail from your arm to your stomach, light, feathery strokes upwards towards your clothed breasts.
His intentions clicked, and you felt yourself blush slightly.
"Xavier..." you mumbled.
He didn't do anything more than stroke your exposed skin, never going further than you had given permission for him to.
But he asked you again, more clearly this time.
"...I could touch you," he gave you a small, faint smile. "If you want? At least... You wouldn't be thinking of anything too much that way..."
His voice trailed off as he noted your lack of response, and then he reached over to squeeze your hand.
"We don't have to do anything, angel. It was just a suggestion."
"...No, I— It's okay." Immediately, you shook your head. "You... You could definitely do that." You felt yourself get breathless at the thought of it, and you leaned back against him.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
You weren't looking at him in that moment, but you could feel him smile as he placed a soft kiss into your hair.
"Okay. Then... I'll make you feel good, angel."
It was a promise, and one that you knew he could fulfil easily.
You felt him tilt your chin up next, your eyes meeting once more, and then he kissed you. Still soft, still slow; his lips moved languidly against yours as if to ease you into it. You felt butterflies in your stomach—this was a kiss that you knew very well from him, and one that you both knew you loved. It was a kiss that said more than just "i love you"; it was a kiss that said "i like being here with you", a kiss that said " let's stay like this forever".
It was a testament—that Xavier was yours, and you were his, and he would show you that he loved you more than you would ever realize.
Slowly, you pulled back from the kiss, the both of you panting. But you didn't look away, and neither did he—not even as his hands moved lower to undo the buttons or your jeans, not even as you lifted your hips for him to pull them down.
"Do you want them off?" he mumbled, still keeping his eyes on yours. "Want you to be comfortable."
"...Mhm. S'okay. I needed to change, anyway..."
When he'd helped you out of your jeans, his lips were back on yours once more—hands gently stroking your sides, tracing your wounds, and your scars, taking his time with you. Your eyes fluttered closed. Xavier's touches were so sweet, so comforting. They could lull you into sleep, and he was right; there was no more space for you to think of any other thoughts that weren't just... him.
When he reached over to unclasp your bra, he let it fall off to the side. And then he leaned his chin over the top of your head, almost as if to get a better look.
"Haven't seen these before," he commented, a little cheekily.
You rolled your eyes—if you weren't nestled so comfortably in his embrace, you'd have reached up to hit him in indignance. "...Don't act all innocent," you mumbled.
"Hm? Wasn't acting, angel." He cupped your breasts, humming slightly, still keeping his eyes on them. You felt him gently massage them in his hands, and you let out a sigh. "They're so soft. It's different from touching them through your shirt."
"Xavier..."
He chuckled, leaning back up to give you another kiss. "I know. This... is why you've always wanted to keep your shirt on, right? Your... scars."
You felt your stomach churn with guilt for a split second, before your body shuddered and melted into the way his hands worked at your chest.
"...D- didn't want you to know..." you breathed out. "'S not easy to say..."
"I know. But thank you for telling me, angel. You can tell me anything, alright? We'll work through this together."
Together. We.
He wasn't saying that it was... your problem. He was saying it was on the both of you—that you weren't alone, and that he would be with you every step away... And it was such a sweet thing for him to say. His words touched your heart, and you felt yourself letting out a shaky breath.
"...Okay," you whispered. "Okay."
He leaned back down to suckle over your collarbone, then, nibbling gently over your skin. It was enough to draw out a soft moan from you.
"Ah... That feels nice..."
In response, his fingers brushed over your nipples. The sudden direct stimulation made you gasp—
And you understood what he meant.
It was different, like this. Now, without any fabric as a barrier, the pads of his fingers rubbed oh-so-perfectly over your little nubs, and it felt... good.
Better than you were used to.
Xavier hummed as he rest his head back on your shoulder, watching the way your breasts molded into his palm, your nipples pert and hard as he began to twist and pinch them in his hands.
"They're pretty up close," he stated again, a little matter-of-factly. "We should do this more often..."
Another pull at your nipples, and you moaned.
"Mmh, shit—yes—"
You wanted to retort, but instead, you found yourself arching your back further into his hands. Your eyes clouded over slightly.
"Yeah? Feels nice?" he murmured.
"Mhm... Feels real nice, Xav..."
He nuzzled into your neck, a soft, loving action despite what he was doing to your body.
"D'you think you could cum like this? Or do you need more?"
His motions remained steady as he spoke, his eyes flitting over your figure. And you, on the other hand, felt your breath come out in a long exhale.
You closed your eyes.
"...More."
And he smiled.
You could feel it, the way the corners of his lips turned up against your skin where he placed light kisses on the base of your neck. And then he kept one hand on your breast, his other hand began to trail slowly down your stomach.
Your body jolted slightly at the change, his fingers leaving a trail of goosebumps before they settled over your thigh. His hand stayed stationed there, squeezing it gently... Never quite moving upwards, not just yet. He was still quite far from where you wanted him like this, and you huffed with displeasure.
"Can I tease?" he asked, and you could feel his smile widen.
You groaned.
"No! M'already wet."
"But I want to take my time with you, princess. You're so... beautiful."
The way he moaned in your ear, kneading your thighs, made you shiver with excitement. He'd been asking you if he could tease... Yet here he was, already doing it anyway.
You grit your teeth. "I need you, Xavi."
"But... Please? It'll prolong the pleasure, you know?"
"...Why are you begging me?"
You scoffed this time, and he chuckled, his breath hitting the shell of your ear.
"I just like the way your body responds to me. You know that."
Once again, you felt that you could have smacked him on the head if you had any remaining ounce of control over your body, but you only bucked your hips forward in a failed attempt to chase his fingers. The way he laughed at you made you glare at him indignantly—It was almost like a little apology on his part when he leaned in for a quick, quick kiss, his hand sliding just a little bit further up your thigh.
"I love you, okay, angel?" he sighed. "Just... wanted to let you know that, again."
You huffed slightly.
"I know, Xavier. And I love you. But as much as I want to say thank you, I just really, really need your fingers inside me. ...Please?"
Impatience was not a look you favored on yourself, but Xavier didn't mind it—he never minded if you preferred to be quiet, or vocal, or demanding, or receptive... Xavier, despite the way he would tease, had always been driven by the need to please you.
So he finally complied with your request.
You felt him gently bring your knees up closer to your chest, feet close together before he pushed your knees apart, and then he let out a low groan. With you spread out effectively for him, he reached over to gather your slick onto his finger.
"So beautiful for me, angel," he nibbled on your ear, making you shiver. "And so, so wet."
In response, you moaned, allowing your head to lull slightly to the side as he spread your juices all over your cunt in gentle strokes. "I told you," you spoke in a hushed tone.
"Hmm... and what's on your mind now, angel?" His breath was still so close to your ear as he spoke, his tone low, and raspy—sultry, like it always was when you did things like this.
"You."
You didn't hesitate to answer, your mouth falling open in a silent gasp when his middle finger slid inside with a wet squelch.
"Mhm? And?"
"...Y- your fingers..."
He slowly dragged his finger out before thrusting back in, his breath hot and heavy. You could feel him smile.
"Anything else, angel?"
He could have almost been cooing at this point, and it was driving you insane. You groaned in frustration, lifting your hips slightly as if to get from him the stimulation you needed.
"Nothing," you moaned as you felt his thumb reach up to brush against your clit. Slow, thrusting motions, and occassional rubs—it was driving you insane. "N-nothing else, Xav, just— just how good you're making me feel—"
He let out a satisfied chuckle then, drawing his finger out and having then drip with your arousal:
"Good."
Your eyes flew wide open as he thrust back into you, moving his finger relentlessly inside as if to explore your walls. It was barely seconds before his index finger pushed right inside your tight hole as well, filling you up in a way that you couldn't do to yourself. His fingers were so long, so much better than your own, and no matter how many times he fingered you, you could never, ever tire of it.
He picked up the pace as your hips met his thrusts.
"F- fuck!" you cursed, panting as he did just that with his fingers, his thumb still circling over your clit, his other hand still avidly toying with your breast and your nipple.
The combined stimulation clouded your brain; he felt so damn good. If, when he'd just started, he had already chased away any foreign thoughts—now, your mind had nearly frozen white. Your mouth hung open as a testament to your pleasure, and he panted into your ear all the same, almost as if he were just as affected.
His fingers continued to pump into you, stretching you wide, curling against your sensitive spot, rubbing you in all the right places. Your legs began to shake, and he lightly licked at the shell of your ear.
"Close?" he murmured, having already memorized the telltale signs of the onset of your orgasm.
You could only nod, choking back a moan.
And then his lips were back on yours.
A little more frantic in his kisses this time, as he fucked you harder with his fingers, pinching and pulling and rolling your nipples—
"M-mmf—!"
You let out a muffled moan, swallowed into the kiss as you came. Your back arched, your body shuddering; a wave of pleasure came crashing into you with such force that it had you feeling shocked.
When he pulled back, the both of you were panting, your eyes clouded and hazy, his fingers wet and sticky when he slid them out of your cunt.
"...Better, princess?" he whispered, and there was another cheeky, cheeky grin on his face.
You smiled back at him, and he leaned over to kiss the tip of your nose.
"Much."
With a soft chuckle, he continued to place light, feathery all over your face, easing you out of your high, until your breathing became calmer.
"I could take you to your room," he mumbled, feeling you close your legs and cuddle into him. "Are you cold?"
"Cold? After you've just made me cum?" You scoffed, somewhat, but willingly clung to his arms. "I'm okay. But... The bed would be nice..."
Another kiss into your hair, another soft smile. "Okay."
He had you carried in his arms the next moment, soft footsteps padding the floor to your bedroom and gently laying you over your mattress. He took a few moments to wipe you down, before he drew your blanket up over your body, and slipped in to lay right beside you. He shifted your head to rest on his shoulder.
"Tired?" he hummed.
A pause, and then,
"...Yeah, kind of." You closed your eyes as you relaxed into his warmth. "But, you haven't done anything... You could put it inside me—or I could suck you off, or—"
He immediately cut you off as he gave you a small frown, and then before you could react, he kissed you almost harshly—as if to shut you up.
"Mmf— Xavier!" you gasped when you pulled away, your frown mirroring his own. "What was that for?"
"You said you were tired."
"...Huh?"
"Why would you expect me to do any more if you said you were tired?"
You searched his expression to realize that his frown was rooted instead in confusion, rather than disdain or disapproval.
"...But... Isn't it unfair...? If you just let me sleep like this..."
"...Do you want to, angel?" A small pout formed on his lips. "I'm alright like this. It's unfair if I force you when you don't want to. You should rest, if you're tired. This doesn't have to be... transactional, you know? We can do more when you want to."
The use of the word 'transactional'made you flush slightly with embarrassment, as you realized that was likely how you'd made it seem—you shook your head immediately. But his words, at the same time, gave you the space to lay back against his chest, wrapping your arms around him as the sound of his heartbeat seemed to lull you peacefully.
"...Sorry," you whispered. "I didn't mean it that way. I know our sex isn't like that..."
You sighed. "I'll... I'll sleep for a bit, then? But... thanks, Xavi."
You felt him place another kiss into your hair, a fond, loving gesture, as he shifted to hug your body tightly against his.
"I'll be right here when you wake up."
It was a promise; a genuine one.
Xavier wasn't going to leave you alone, no matter how many times your mind would bug you to think that way.
And you trusted him, and you loved him... and he had shown the same back to you—now, and always.
A tiny little smile made its way to your face as your eyelids fluttered close.
"I love you, Xavier," you whispered. "Thank you."
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⁺₊ / an: inspired by xavier's 4★ card pair, "shining light" and "shining traces" !! i think we underestimate how cold and intimidating xavier can really get because if he was angry at me i too would wish the ground would swallow me whole 😭
© rose-tinted-kalopsia. all rights reserved. do not: steal, copy, repost, reupload, modify, or claim any of my works as your own, regardless of credit given. absolutely do not use my works for AI training and other related purposes.
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avelera · 2 months ago
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Ugh, sorry, one last political point because it’s the day for it and this is bugging me.
Democrats and people on the left in the US have got to knock it off with this whole, “All Trump voters are obviously stupid” thing.
I’m sure it’s satisfying to believe, but it is simply not true, and making assumptions about your opponents that aren’t true is how you lose elections.
Half of the voting population of this country is not stupid and it is ludicrous to insist on believing that. Trump voters include doctors, lawyers, business owners, people with PhDs and graduate degrees, and people who attend college courses for fun. They are, unfortunately for many of us including yours truly, our parents and relatives and I at least know for a fact in those cases that they are well educated, well traveled people.
Assuming these people are just stupid and uninformed is, in fact, stupid. It a simplistic view of the world that is going to make your platforms lose if you embrace it and refuse to look deeper.
In practice, people engage in politics because they want the greatest happiness and prosperity for the largest number of people that they care about.
Everything after that is just haggling over price.
For example, the Left/Democrats might believe that the great amount of happiness and prosperity is brought to the largest number of people they care about when an advanced degree is available to everyone without leaving them in crippling debt, when people can age with social services that allow them dignity, when billionaires and companies cannot exploit their workers, and when peace and just causes are allowed to flourish around the world, including the education and enfranchisement of women, and the long term health of our planet. I personally believe that brings long term prosperity to us all.
Left and Right wing voters right now both probably agree that everyone is happier and more prosperous if they can afford a house and have a job that covers their needs and then some. How to get to that is the sticking point that they disagree on.
Right wing voters also want prosperity for themselves and those they care for and what they disagree on with the Left is how to achieve that. I’m not going to go into their platforms here because the whole point of this post is not assuming things about your opponents.
Now in order to persuade people to hold more Left leaning views, you need to make the case for why what you care about is a thing that they should care about and, more importantly, how it enhances the happiness and prosperity of them and those they care about.
Otherwise, you are asking them to vote against their own interests, which no one engages in politics to do, at least not on purpose (even if it is the ultimate outcome in many cases).
If you don’t care about making this argument to opposite side, then fine, you’ve already lost and you deserve to keep losing elections.
You deserve to lose because you’re not making a case for why anyone should support your causes in order to gain happiness and prosperity for themselves and those they care about, including expanding the field of people they care about, and it is ludicrous to expect people to do that without being persuaded either intellectually or emotionally.
This is what finding common ground and building coalitions is about, even if you don’t agree on every point. And if you self isolate and stick to your purity, you deserve to lose because politics is about how we govern large groups of people towards a common goal that, ultimately, is best simplified as the goal of their greatest happiness and prosperity.
Good faith politics is negotiating over what that means. Because resources are finite we can’t all get everything we want all at once. And not everyone agrees on everything so you need to prioritize the best possible allotment of happiness and prosperity for the short and long term, and that’s when we get into the nitty gritty of all the horse trading that happens in politics etc etc.
And you get into things like billionaires having outsized ability to enact their own happiness and prosperity but here’s the thing, many people especially on the right go along with those views because they believe (rightfully or not) that those goals will increase their own happiness and prosperity as well and if you don’t agree you’ve got to explain to them intellectually or emotionally why that is and provide and alternate platform or path for them to gain it that is more effective by at least some measure of that value.
Anyway, at the risk of this becoming a political science thesis from someone who isn’t a political scientist, just an amateur academic, tl;dr please knock it off with assuming everyone who disagrees with you is stupid, it is a losing proposition and it doesn’t get us anywhere near the goals we want to achieve politically, ie, the greatest happiness and long term prosperity of the people we care about.
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daycourtofficial · 1 year ago
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I’m Still Bejeweled
Summary: based on this ask - Azriel’s been busy lately with his work, unable to delegate. You’ve had enough and decide to try to get his attention by going out to Rita’s with Mor and Nesta.
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You knew what you signed up for when you started seeing Azriel. You knew at times it would be difficult due to his trauma and his job - which is why it surprised you easy it is to love him.
The past few weeks he has been flooded with work. Azriel is very good at his job, but his biggest flaw is his inability to delegate. You know most of his work right now could easily be delegated to the spies he trains himself, however that doesn’t make it easier for him to actually pass the task off to someone else.
You’re tired of asking him to take a day off, to see him more than at night when he comes to bed. You want to spend time with him outside of your bed, so you and Nesta decided to do something about it.
You were getting dressed, Azriel’s attention never straying from the papers at his desk as you do so. You contemplate the merits of this plan as you put your hair up to show off your neck and shoulders.
You’re wearing a dress Azriel bought you with the intention of taking it off of you. Pitch black, thin straps holding it up on your shoulders, a hemline that barely covers your behind, a triangular cutout across the top to peak at your breasts.
It was a dress that drove him wild - and he wouldn’t even look at you. Putting on your earrings and necklace, you take one final look and head out. Azriel’s attention be damned - you looked hot and you were going to have fun with Nesta and Mor no matter what.
Azriel didn’t look up until you had walked out the door of your room, his shadows urging him to look the whole time you were in the room.
Pretty, pretty, pretty.
Their whispers resounded in his ears, practically begging him to look up. He had gotten used to it over the years he had known you - his shadows thought you were the prettiest thing in the world, constantly annoyed when they couldn’t just look at you all day.
He glanced up in time to see your backside walking out and the realization of what dress you were wearing made him stand up, causing his knees to hit the desk.
He slides out from under the desk, abandoning his report in search of you. He remembered you saying something about Mor - dinner? Dancing?
He can’t recall, but he’s only ever seen you wear that dress to Rita’s, using it to keep him by your side all night. “You’ll have to spend the whole night by my side keeping others males away from me,” you had told him once.
He bats the memory away as he follows your scent through the house, attempting to intercept you before you left. Surely you weren’t leaving dressed like that without him.
Unfortunately Cassian decided to turn the corner at the exact moment Azriel was, causing the two to collide.
“Whoa where’s the fire?” Cassian asks, mocking his brother’s hurried steps. Cassian peers behind himself, at where you had just passed him a moment ago, and chuckles. Azriels growls in response, his instincts dialing up the further away from him you get. Cassian shakes his head and laughs at his brother, thumping his hands on his shoulders as he moves to pass him. “Ah, women. Wonderful creatures.”
Cassian walks away as Azriel continues following your scent. He knows you’re playing some kind of game, teasing him like a cat with a mouse, he just can’t figure out what the game is. He thinks back to your most recent discussions, only to come up a bit blank. His feet move down the steps of the house depositing him to the streets of Velaris, where your scent has mixed with Mor and Nesta’s. He keeps following you, thinking about your last conversation. You had asked him to take the day off, he had declined, keeping focus on the task he was doing.
He stops dead in his tracks, a pedestrian running into him at the abruptness of his stop. Oh Gods, he thinks, I didn’t even look at her. That conversation was days ago, surely he’s spoken to you since? Showed you love and affection?
His mind comes up empty, the days passing by him in a blur of papers and strategizing. When was the last time he kissed you? Held you? Talked to you?
He takes a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the Sidra as he picks up his pace again. Azriel has figured out what game you’re playing - you want him to grovel.
For you? Anything. He’d crawl to you if it’s what it took.
The sounds of Rita’s flood your senses as you dance with Mor and Nesta. You know Azriel isn’t purposely ignoring you, but that doesn’t stop it from hurting. You decide to let go, enjoy the night, the music, the dancing.
The three of you take the dance floor, getting lost in the sounds, letting go of the stress the week brought. You don’t really even register the male dancing with you until you open your eyes and meet a green gaze.
He smiles at you, reaching out to put his hands on your waist when a larger make intercepts you, pushing the offering male out of the way.
“I believe I have first dance with the lady,” he says to you. The other male throws his hands up in shock, but quickly leaves at seeing the face of the male who took you.
“What’s a beautiful creature like you doing here?”
You turn to look at him, his hungry gaze taking in every inch of your dress. You smirk, staring into the hazel eyes you adore. Azriel has relaxed a bit now that you’re in his arms, a place where he doesn’t have to worry about fighting off other males.
“I was hoping I’d find a male who wants to actually spend time with me. My boyfriend won’t stop working and hardly makes time for me these days.”
You pout a little at him as he comes closer, swaying with the music a little. “He sounds like a fool, letting you come here alone, not paying you any heed.”
You take a sip of your drink, the alcohol warming your stomach as it went down. “He certainly is a fool. I’m much more interesting than silly reports he has to write.”
He smiles as he looks to the floor. “Can I dance with you?”
You tip your glass up to your mouth, finishing off your drink. “After you buy me another drink.”
He leads you to the bar, ordering what you had just finished off. The bartender hands it to you, and you ask him, “what brings you here?”
He smiles down at you, his hand going around your waist, “I had a feeling I’d find my future wife here tonight.”
You look around the bar, pointing over to the corner where Nesta stands. “Is that her? She looks delightful.”
Azriel follows your finger as Nesta gives him a scowl for 1) his earlier treatment of you and 2) for interrupting girl’s night. He laughs, offering her a two finger salute. She offers one finger in response.
“I am not a strong enough male for her.”
“I don’t think such a male exists.”
You face each other, leaning against the bar.
“What does she think of your inattentive boyfriend?”
You peak over at Nesta, who has moved back to dancing on the floor with Mor. “she thinks he’s usually better than this.”
“Oh?” He asks, quirking an eyebrow at you.
“She likes him a lot, just thinks his priorities weren’t in the right place for the past few weeks.”
He smiles, a hand caressing your waist. “So she likes the two of you together?”
You look into his face, meeting his gaze again. “Oh yeah. Just the other night she got drunk and went on and on to me about how much she liked us.”
His thumb starts grazing across your hip.
“She told me how she loves the way he looks at me.”
“And how does he look at you?”
You smile up at him, “supposedly like I’m the sun and the stars, like the lone light out on the open ocean.”
He smirks, “quite impressive to have him ensnared to you like that.”
Your eyes dance with the light of Rita’s, “I’m a great lay.”
He throws his head back and laughs, squeezing your hips. “Is that it? You seem like much more than that.”
Your hands connect with his hips, “and what do I seem like?”
His eyes have that look that only happens when he’s looking at you, the first of his undivided attention in so long causing you to buzz more than the alcohol could.
“Like what’s the point in doing things if you aren’t there? Like maybe life could be so much more than I ever imagined because of you. Like burdens aren’t so heavy if you’re holding my hand. Like I’ve never really taken a full breath before. You feel like a warm hearth and I’ve spent my entire life afraid of fire, but you taught me it can do more than burn.”
He reaches a hand out, moving a piece of your hair out of your face.
“At least, that’s what you seem like.”
Tears line your eyes at his words. The two of you have been together for years at this point, so his devotion is no secret. He was a man of few words, but he opened up to you more and more as time goes on. He whispers sweet words to you all the time, but never in such a public place.
He holds your face in his hands, so softly, as if he could shatter you.
“I would crawl home to you.”
You can’t take it anymore - this game, Rita’s, the hands on your hips. You surge forward, pulling his hips to you and your lips meet his. You pour everything into the kiss, pour everything into him. The neglect you’ve felt, the love you feel for him, how badly you want things to be okay.
The kiss starts off slow and hungry, his lips soft against your own. As it continues, it becomes more ravenous and harsh, and by the time you come up for air he’s winnowed the two of you home.
Your shared bedroom is dark and cold, but your body heat quickly warms the room. Azriel puts a hand on your jaw as he kisses down your neck, soft, delicate kisses.
“I’m sorry,” he says, a kiss between each word. “I neglected you.”
He pulls his head up to look at you. “Sometimes I’m still that little boy, unable to use his hands, feeling I need to prove myself to have a spot somewhere.”
He sighs, his grip tightening on you to remind himself that you’re here.
“Sometimes I just… feel like I have to keep proving myself to my family and that’s why I overwork myself.”
You touch his jaw, a movement he leans into. “You never have to prove yourself to me. And I promise - no one will find you unworthy if you delegate and take days off.”
He smiles into your hand. “And if they do - they’ll have to deal with me.”
He laughs fondly, “my attack dog girlfriend.”
You balk at his clear teasing. “I’ll have you know I’m quite scary and strong. In your absence these weeks I’ve been training with Cassian.”
His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, “and have you beaten Cassian in a fight?”
“No,” you sigh, “but once I was able to pants him, pushed him over and ran away.”
He throws his head back laughing, “well let’s hope any naysayers will be wearing pants for this altercation.”
You capture his laugh in a kiss, knowing that you’ve made progress with him. It will take time for him to learn how to delegate, but you feel confident he’ll get there.
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sheepispink · 23 days ago
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Sweet Like Sugar ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི
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ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི COD MASTERLIST
ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི pairings: simon riley x (afab) reader
ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི Summary: Trying to advertise your bakery is particularly difficult, especially when no one seems to want to try anything new lately, still stuck in their old ways. Thankfully, a particularly masked man is also particularly fond of the tea you make along side your signature pastries.
ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི WC: 2.5k
part two
You’ve grown up in Wales nearly your entire life, living not too far from a fresh farm and yet so close to a little town you call home. The weather is typical for Britain, always a little dreary though sometimes the sun would shine so bright the grass on these hills looked like those in the movies. You’d run up those hills as a child, laughing as the sheep would make noises after your every whim.
Today was particularly dreary though; the sun struggled to peek through even with the large gaps between each cloud, only leaving behind a desolate grey on the town. It was your turn to take over the shop for the day, seeing as your parents were out of town on business details. A few named your shop to be ‘the littlest around’, since it wasn't exactly the biggest area nor did many know of it. After all, it had only opened recently after the last owner left their business to rot out. It took practically months to renovate the dusty walls of this shop even more so that your family were on a tight budget. However your parents believed in it and so did you.. or you thought you did anyway. Maybe you had watched too many movies as a kid because this business was definitely not booming, infact you had spent the majority of the past week trying to advertise the best you possibly could.
Either way, it was bound to be quiet today so you decide you may as well use it as a testing day. The menu was finalised already however you were eager about one thing to add, a selection of freshly brewed teas. It wasn't the most viable since it required a lot of customers at the same time in order to taste the actual freshness— otherwise it’d just go cold and icky. Placing the portable burner down— something you picked up since most days used to be spent in a caravan— you place a pot atop and light the flame. You had not travelled very far, but due to your grandparent who was particularly interested in plenty of cultures, you picked up a few handy recipes for delicious teas.
Unfortunately, you didnt have much on you today after using your last stock on the small opening party. So, you’d have to make do with what you had. You hum as you boil the water in the pan, before slowly adding the milk and some spices— cardamon and cinammon to be exact. It’d make a rich flavour which was perfect with the right amount of sugar, and so, you let it brew as you hummed, debating whether you were allowed to play your favourite tunes here or not.
Seeing as no one had showed up in a while, you plug your phone into the speaker system, letting a soft song play throughout the little patisserie as you grin and nod your head along. What you hadnt expected was the bell above the door to jingle, heavy boots dragging against the wooden floor as they grow louder. You snap your head up, looking a little startled before you quickly stand infront of the counter again, putting on your best sheepish smile.
“Welcome! What can i get for you today?”
The strange man wears a balaclava over his face, his eyes showing and a few tufts of blonde peeking out the back as he bends a little to look over all of the pastries available. Eventually he stops, pointing at one the sausage rolls, before his gruff voice finally breaks his silence. “Two o’ these.”
You nod quickly, grabbing a paper bag before carefully placing the two pastries inside and sealing the bag.
“Actually, since it’s a weekday, all the pastries come with a dessert or drink. Is there any one you would like?”
You tilt your head, as you place the bag on the counter, already tapping in the current bill. He pauses and glances over at the sweeter desserts, but even you could tell just from his appearance that he doesnt seem to be too fond of them. Instead, his height allows him to easily peek over the counter and he can instantly smell the pot of rich cardamom tea brewing. “Is that for sale?” He raises an eyebrow at you, and you can only tell from how the mask lifts a little. You pause, wondering if you really should be giving them out to customers just yet.
“It’s a taster really.. would you like to try?” He lets out a grunt in agreement and you walk back over, ladeling a creamy cup of the tea for him before stepping over to him once more.He taps his card down for the items he bought, taking the steaminf cup in his hand but he doesnt intend to drink it and reveal his face— clear from the way he glances around the shop. “Is it always this quiet or are you about to close?” He raises a brow, wondering if he had just accidentally forced you to stay open longer than you should. Your hands wave in front of you frantically as you shake your head. “No! No— um, it’s been a little hard to promote business recently. We only opened last month..” Today you decide not to mention that last weeks rain had nearly drowned the entire shop floor, instead just giving him another sheepish look. “I’m trying to look for any opportunities we can to show off our bakes. I’ve been looking at fairs recently.” You hum and he nods, before lifting his mask without a second thought and sipping down the hot tea you made him. “You should promote this aswell, i can see this tasting good with a dessert.” He offers his advice and you nod readily, smiling at him since he just indirectly said that the tea was good. “Well, i’ll make sure to have lots more flavours too!
A month later and unsurprisingly your family’s little shop isnt any more popular than the last time you took charge of it. That strange man appeared a few times afterwards but you hadnt seen him, busy with your own part time job to try and bring some extra income in. Today you were finally back though, the peak of winter hitting like a shock but it didnt stop the excitement brimming through the town.
At the start of December each year, the town would host a market in the main plaza, which was particularly big for the town’s size. There was everything from crafts and fresh fruit, flowers and trinkets to the toastiest hot chocolate and clothing. This year you were determined to make your mark, selling sweet pastries and the spiced at the same time. He did say it’d draw in at least a bit of attention, so right? Well, you sure hoped so because you were using a portion of your personal savings to try again with the tea. You’d never know if you didn't try, and in the worst case scenario you could give it for free to the other vendors as a sign of good sportsmanship— maybe you could even trade! You grin eagerly as you set up the stand, glass covers above all your decorated pastries, sweet and savoury waiting to be bitten into. Perhaps you went a little overboard with the baking but this was a big event—even neighbouring towns travelled here!
The fair kickstarts around five thirty, the time when most get off work and so many are already flocking to find something for their hungry stomach. You practically bubble with excitement when you get your first three orders, only to turn and see the hot burrito stall’s queue which looks like it’d shadow your stall next. With a small frown, your demeanour drops as the orders only get rarer, a few commenting on not being sure to try something so exotic. About tea. Literal chai. Customer service was not for the weak clearly, since you had to restrain yourself from lunging over the table right then and there, giving the lady a forced smile before she walked off. You let your head rest in your hands, groaning a little too loudly, but it wasnt like anyone was even close enough to your stall to hear anyway. The only thought that consumed you was frustration; you knew damn well that all the bakes here were delicious, that the recipes were to die for and the tea was an absolute soother for any cold or strain. Though, no matter how hard you tried no one seemed to want to hear you out.
“Are you taking a break?”
A voice rings out, gruff, a little muffled and stern but most of all— familiar. Finally your eyes snap up, meeting the gaze of that stranger from before, well now he looked entirely different. “You… from before.. you’re a soldier?!” You have to forcefully lower your voice before you cause his ears to bleed through his balaclava. He was decked out in full tactical gear, apart from the weapons of course and the helmet held in the crook of his elbow. Though not just him, an entire team of soldiers aswell who surrounded your stall, practically brimming with excitement at the tasty baked goods they’d finally try.
“Finished a day long training in the cold. Thought i’d bring ‘em to your stall for a break. You dont look good yourself though” He bluntly states the last part out, already suspecting that you’d sigh next. “Orders are still slow...” You murmur, and he nods, as if he’d expected that. Before either of you can speak, one of his soldiers perks up, “Miss, how much would it be for two of these pie slices and one of your sausage rolls?”
Your lips part in surprise and you hurry to the till, typing in the amounts before announcing the price to him. The reasonable cost of your goods and the great quality is enough to catch the attention of his teammates, and soon enough you have them lined up waiting to buy their share too.
You cough to get his attention the queue finally draws to a blank and he slowly approaches as you gesture to the pots of tea steaming beside you. The soldiers had taken the majority of your stock, even asking for refills but one large cup was saved for him. “On the house, for a regular.” You say cheekily and he nods, the sides of his mask creasing up into what you think could possibly be a smile. “So, how did you even convince your boss to let you bring your whole team here anyway? I always thought those ‘sergeant’ people were like.. really strict.” He chuckles at you, deep and gruff and for a second you’re confused, tilting your head at him. “Hey— what’s so funny? I’m being serious!” He finally stops, his eyes crinkled slightly as he looks back at you. “I’m their Lieutenant.” ” He says still with that monotone voice and your jaw practically drops, cheeks flushing in embarrassment as you groan loudly. “I’m very sorry..”
Now sitting upon the benches, they chatter amongst themselves whilst others eye the other trinkets available, looking for something for the loved ones back home. The man with the skull mask still stands nearby though watching you fill up a cup full of the tea before handing it to a customer.
“Do you take large orders too?” He finally pipes up, glancing over at you with that filled cup still in his hand. “Well.. we don't have any official set up..” Being his acquaintance was a severe exaggeration, and yet you couldn't stand to disappoint him right now. Especially seeing as much as he’s done so far,perhaps not intentionally, but what intrigues you even more is that his soldiers seemed to be over the moon about your pastries. You hadn't really thought about the fact soldiers are probably dying for the taste of a good home cooked pastry, especially in the winter months, and now it seems like this could really boost your business.
“But..I could just give you my number?” Putting that forward seems a bit odd, but in truth you were being completely innocent about it even if he seems to believe otherwise, smirking beneath the mask before he nods. He takes his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it and hands it over to you before gesturing to you to do the same. When you receive your phone back, you see the new contact, ‘Lieutenant Ghost (sausage roll)’ and snicker a little, you’re pretty sure you can remember him without the assistance but it’s amusing anyway. “I’ll text you later regarding any big orders we want to make.”
He gives you another nod and you quickly agree with his words, grateful for the opportunity he’s provided you with.
“Thanks for bringing all your soldiers here.. i dont think we would’ve garnered this much attention otherwise.” People had already noticed the brand on the soldiers' cups and bags, making their way to the stall and eyeing some of the goods left from their rampage. He only shrugs, ignoring the fact he had any part in this. “By the way..” You hum, glancing at the untouched tea in his hand curiously. “Why haven't you drank any yet— it’ll grow cold soon.” He leans against your table slightly before he just nods firmly again, looking back at the crowds. “Dont like to show my face.” That makes you blink, confused since he had easily shown you in the shop a month ago when he tried it for the first time. “But—“
Before you can answer, his phone buzzes and he glances down before beckoning his group over. “Oi, all of you. We’re leavin’ in ten— do not make us late.” Suddenly you dont feel at all bad for calling him strict earlier, even snickering a little at how stern his voice had suddenly gotten even if he’s usually monotone to you too. The soldiers eyes grow wide and they quickly jump to buy the rest of their things making you snicker.
“Guess that’s the last I'll see of you, ‘Lieutenant’. See you soon.” You grin, waving as he throws the now empty cup in the trash— when did he drink that? He lifts a hand to give a short wave at you too before stepping away to join the rest of his men. “Dont worry, you will.”
That night you’re left dumbfounded as you stare at your phone, the text lighting your eyes up in the darkness of your room. ‘Tomorrow night is the second day of the fair, right?’ The first part reads, and you mentally nod, remembering how your parents said you’d take the first day and they’d handle the second. When you responded with a yes, but also clarifying your stall is also available, he wrote back one more text.
‘Good. I’ll be taking you around with me this time.”
PART TWO
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